Holding on to the Memory
by Rosa Heartlily
Summary: Selphie gets to grips with Irvine's reasons for leaving Garden, and seeks a way of changing the organisation from within. Hopefully, it won't be as gloomy as that sounds!
1. Chapter 1

**Holding on to the Memory**

**Chapter 1**

Selphie bounced out of the Mini-Ragnarok and into Irvine's arms. Esthar Airstation was full of people arriving and departing in the commercial planes that now connected all of the major cities. None of the other travellers had a private, dragon-shaped, two-seater flying machine, though. Living on the same continent certainly helped their relationship, though she had never fully understood his reasons for leaving Garden and taking up wild-game hunting on the Esthar Plains. If he did not want to work for Galbadia, why not come to Trabia so they could be even closer? It did make the time they spent together even more special, though, so it was not all bad.

'I thought I'd never get here,' she cried, before planting a kiss squarely on his lips. An elderly couple who were passing looked on with amusement. 'The turbulence was _dreadful_!'

He held out his hand for her bag, but she shook her head. 'There's hardly anything in it,' she stated, slipping her hand through the crook of his arm. 'Now, what's first - lunch or shopping?'

'Who said anything about shopping?' drawled the cowboy, leading her out of the Airstation. 'I thought we'd just head back to my place, have a few beers, make a mess of the sheets...'

'I did not travel down here just to look at the inside of your new flat. I mean, I'm sure it's wonderful, just like you,' giving him a quick peck on the cheek, 'but Rinoa was telling about the new shops that've opened, and...'

He held up his hands. 'OK, OK, I give in! No man can stand against a determined woman and the tales she's heard from her friends about new shops. Do you want to drop your bag off at the flat, though? It'll save you lugging it round the shops - and we can grab a bite to eat before we start.'

'Sounds like a plan! But just a quick bite, right?'

'Oh, Selph! You know I hate to rush...'

Laughing, she punched him playfully on the arm. 'You can take all the time in the world - tonight!'

They soon reached the flat. Irvine rustled up some cheese and tomato sandwiches, while Selphie had a quick look around. The flat was open plan, and set in the corner of the building. There was no outer wall, just a single window that curved right around the two sides. The lift opened directly on to the main seating area, which contained two huge well-worn, tan-coloured leather couches. A little further along was a wooden dining table with six chairs around it and a vase full of yellow tulips in the middle, and beyond that the kitchen with its wooden cupboard doors and modern appliances.

The bedroom and bathroom were on a raised platform, reached by a short flight of steps, which began just before the kitchen. The space underneath contained Irvine's limited collection of films, music and games, and the rather ancient equipment for playing them, but was currently screened off by a heavy curtain. She trotted up the stairs to dump her bag on the bed, and stayed to admire the sunken bath. Promising herself that she would definitely try it out before she went home, she returned to the main floor to enjoy her boyfriend's offering of food.

As she munched on her sandwich, Selphie took a measured look round. 'It's not very cheerful, is it?'

Irving frowned in confusion. 'What do you mean?'

'Your décor. It's all a bit... brown,' she replied with a shrug.

'I like brown.'

She rolled her eyes at him. 'But it's _sooo_ dull! What you need...'

'Ohhh, no, Selphie! This is _my_ flat. I have to live here when you go back to Trabia. You are _not_ doing anything to it.'

'I'm not going to do anything _bad_, silly. Just some cushions...'

'No.'

'...and a couple of nice pictures...'

'_No!_'

'...oh! and you _must_ have...'

He silenced her by placing a hand over her mouth. 'Selphie, baby, listen to me. Watch my lips. I. Do not. Need you. To brighten up. My home. Do you understand?'

Carefully, he removed his hand, and waited for her reaction. She blinked her beautiful green eyes at him and said, 'Yes, Irvy, you _do_ need me to brighten up your home. Trust me. A few little touches, and you won't know the place!'

'That's what I'm afraid of!'

'You'll love it. Just you wait and see.'

He threw up his hands in defeat. 'OK, you win. But nothing permanent! No paint on the walls, or new furniture, or... or anything, right?'

'It's a deal!' she cried, holding out her hand. They shook on it, and she smiled inwardly. He had no idea what he had let himself in for.

They had finished their lunch by now and were ready to go. Selphie was wearing a cute yellow sun-dress with daisies printed all over it; Irvine had long-since ditched the duster coat and chaps in reference to the Esthar heat, but still wore his hat everywhere. They left the building and headed towards Esthar's shopping mall.

The express-ways and walk-ways were busier than she remembered from her visits during their campaign against Ultimecia. There was a greater variety of people, too; stylish Galbadians and provincials from Balamb and Winhill rubbed shoulders with the robed Estharians. Esthar certainly had opened its doors to the rest of the world.

Their first destination was the unimaginatively named _Furnishing Touches_, a shop that sold everything from toothbrush holders to lava lamps to wall hangings. The shop supplied trolleys for customers to use and Selphie secured one before leading the way towards the cushion department. She was soon in a happy daze trying to choose between chintzes and faux furs. Realising that his presence was almost surplus to requirements, except for when it came to paying, Irvine parked their trolley and settled into a comfortable slouch against a pillar. As he looked around, he saw a number of other men in a similar situation, all clearly waiting for their respective partners to choose their perfect covers and inners before heading off to the next department. One man had just left his overflowing trolley to prevent his wife from scratching another woman's eyes out over a particularly hideous knitted cushion cover.

After the cushions came rugs, lamps and vases. Their final stop was in the picture department. The shop was promoting some new holo-pics that displayed an ever-changing range of pictures of a famous site. Selphie stared at them, tears in her eyes, as she gazed in turn at Dollet Harbour, Winhill Square, the Tomb of the Unknown King, and the rest.

'What's up, Selph?' he asked, gently.

She took a shaky breath and said, 'These pictures make me so sad. I have only horrid memories of all of those places.'

'So, why are you looking at them?'

'I... I can't help it. Just the thought of people hanging these on their walls, watching the pretty pictures of Galbadia change from the Arch, to the Palace, to... It's just too much!'

'How about that one?' He pointed to a holo-pic of the Shumi Village, and she clapped her hands in delight.

'Oh, that's beautiful! I _looove_ the Shumi. We should have a weekend away, there. It's a great place for unwinding. But I don't want a picture of it.' She gave him a light kiss on the cheek. 'It was a nice thought, though. Right, I'm done! Anything you want?'

Answering in the negative, he pushed the laden trolley to a till and got out his credit card. They arranged for everything to be delivered the next day and moved on to the next shop. There were lots of new boutiques and Selphie had great fun trying on clothes that she would never have bought in a million years. She also made some purchases along the lines of make-up and costume jewellery.

After a couple of hours of this, Irvine said he was going to buy some food for their dinner. 'Fine,' she replied. 'I've just got one more shop I want to look at, so I'll meet you back here in half-an-hour, OK?'

'What shop?' he asked, suspiciously.

She grinned back at him. 'It's a surprise! See you later!'

Back at the flat, Selphie settled down to listen to a new CD she had bought while her boyfriend showed off his culinary skills by preparing Mesmerize steaks with his own secret marinade. As the music wafted out of the CD player, she sat on the steps and mentally planned out where all of her purchases would look best. She could not wait to start arranging everything.

'Come and get it!' called the cowboy, carrying two well-laden plates through from the kitchen.

As they ate, he told her about some of the work he was doing. With Esthar now open to visitors, it had become something of a tourist destination. However, nothing was more likely to put tourists off than being attacked by a Chimera or Marlboro. He and his team were employed by the Esthar government to keep down the numbers of dangerous creatures so that tourists could travel from the city to Tear's Gate and the other local attractions in relative safety. Recently, they had wiped out a particularly fertile Marlboro nest.

After the steaks came ice-cream and the subject turned to Laguna's plans to set up a Garden in Esthar. 'It's ridiculous!' Irvine cried, his eyes turned towards his bowl but his mind clearly elsewhere. 'As if there weren't enough bloody Gardens in the world, as it is! You know, Ultimecia had a point. SeeD _are_ "swarming like lokust"!'

Selphie stared at him in disbelief, a horrible sick feeling growing in her stomach. 'Irvy...'

'I'm so glad I got out when I did. I couldn't take any more...'

Somehow, she got the feeling that he was not really talking to her, or was replaying a similar conversation he'd had with someone else. But who?

'Kids with guns, for Hyne's sake! What's all that about? It... it's _obscene_!'

'I'm SeeD,' she pointed out, quietly.

Blinking, he focussed on her as if surprised to see her. 'What?'

'I'm SeeD.'

'Of course you are! But that's different...'

'How?'

'Well...'

'My work is with the Junior Classmen. I am directly responsible for their welfare. Do you think I don't take that responsibility seriously?'

'Of course...' he passed a hand over his face, as if wishing to erase his earlier outburst. 'I'm sorry, Selphie. It's been a trying couple of weeks, what with eradicating that Marlboro nest and...'

She interrupted with, 'And who else have you been discussing this with?'

'No-one, really...'

She arched an eyebrow at him. 'Irvine!'

'OK, then. It was... Rinoa and Seifer...'

'Rinoa and... When? What were you doing having this conversation with them?! And why am I only just hearing about it?'

'But I told you I'd seen them. When Squall and Quistis were here to talk over the Esthar Garden with Laguna. That was how Rinoa found out about all those bloody shops you made me hike round this afternoon.'

'Oh, right. I just didn't... Well, that explains why you and Rinoa were both so evasive when I asked what you'd talked about. And you never told me you'd had dinner with... him.'

'We couldn't leave him on his own, Selph! You know, you're going to have to accept him one day. If Rinoa can...'

'I know, I know,' she replied wearily. She wondered whether she should pursue this newly discovered problem he seemed to have with Garden, but then decided it was better dealt with in the morning. It would be no fun spending the weekend with him if they were rowing, and she had drunk too much wine to handle the issue sensibly. Instead she grinned at him.

'What is it?' he asked, not sure how to react to her change of mood.

For an answer, she leaned over and licked a little dribble of ice-cream off his chin. 'I love you, Irvine Kinneas,' she told him. 'In fact, I love you so much, I'm going to let you do the washing up while I go and unpack!'

Before he could answer she skipped up the stairs to the bedroom, but she did not unpack her travelling bag. Instead, she pulled out her purchases from earlier, including the surprise she had bought on her own. They finished at the same time, and she appeared at the top of the stairs in her new naughty nurse outfit just as he came through to see if she wanted a cup of coffee.

'Ah, Mr Kinneas! Ready for your examination?'

_A/N: So, I hope you like it! Please C&C. The moral implications of what SeeD do has always bothered me, and I thought it was about time I tackled the issue. I'm not sure what the conclusions will be, at this point, though!_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - Well, despite zero response to Chapter 1 (apart from the comments from Jody that MySpace ate), I feel somewhat honour-bound to continue with this story

_A/N - Well, despite zero response to Chapter 1 (apart from the comments from Jody that MySpace ate), I feel somewhat honour-bound to continue with this story. So, here's..._

**Chapter 2**

Selphie awoke late the next morning and found that she was still wearing her white fishnet stockings and suspender belt. Smiling to herself at the memories they evoked, she slid out of bed carefully so as not to wake Irvine who was still snoring peacefully. Sitting on the floor, she finished undressing and then collected the rest of her outfit that was scattered around the room, finally dumping everything in the laundry basket. She considered having a quick shower but decided she needed food and coffee more. Instead, she grabbed the t-shirt her boyfriend had been wearing the day before, breathing in his smell as she pulled it over her head. Then, she pattered off to the kitchen.

The fridge was well-stocked with juice, milk, bacon and eggs, and there was an almost full loaf in the bread bin. She set the coffee-maker going and then rummaged around various cupboards until she found a frying pan. Soon, delicious smells were wafting through the flat and she was not surprised when she heard the bed creaking and Irvine's heavy tread on the stairs.

She turned to watch him descend, towsle-haired and wearing just a pair of boxers. 'Have you seen... Oh, you're wearing it. Looks better on you! You can visit more often if you're going to cook breakfast every morning looking that sexy,' he grinned, leaning over the counter to inspect the progress of the bacon.

'Don't get used to it,' she warned, blowing him a quick kiss. 'Go and sit down. It's nearly done.'

She carried out their breakfast on a large tray, enjoying the feeling of domesticity but knowing that she would hate to do it too often. Perhaps it was just as well they were separated by half a continent, after all. Soon, plates, cups and glasses were set out and both were busy consuming the fruits of her labours. Irvine swallowed the last of his coffee and sighed with contentment.

'So, what's the plan for today?' he asked.

'The stuff we bought yesterday is coming between eleven and four, remember? So, I suppose the plan is to kill time until it gets here and then arrange it when it does.'

'And how do you propose we "kill time"?'

'Well, _I_ plan to start with a shower.'

'Good idea. I'll scrub your back...'

Some time later, they emerged, warm, wet and smelling of Irvine's lemon-scented shower gel. The cowboy lay back on his bed and watched his girlfriend dry off and get dressed.

'What's next on the agenda, then?' he asked.

Taking a deep breath, she paused a moment before answering, then said, 'We need to talk, Irvy.'

'Well, if that's what you want to call it, I'm all yours,' came the response as he removed his towel. 'Talk away, baby!'

She rolled her eyes at him. 'No, I meant that we actually _need to talk_. You know, discuss, converse.'

'About what?' he asked, looking nervous. 'What have I done?'

'Nothing - as far as I know! It's what you said last night about SeeD... I need to understand what you meant. So, you get dressed while I make some more coffee, ok?'

Without giving him chance to answer, she hurried back to the kitchen. A few minutes later, they were sitting opposite each other on the couches clutching their coffee mugs, and wondering where to begin.

Looking up, Selphie began, 'Why don't you start with why you really left Garden?'

Irvine hesitated a moment as if gathering his thoughts. 'It probably started with the incident with... with Matron. I knew who she was immediately, but nobody else seemed to remember her. I realised that everything I'd ever heard about the GFs affecting people's memories must be true, and I was so grateful that Galbadia didn't use them very much.

'I watched you all and how you acted after being junctioned - I kept an eye on myself, too, of course. The worst part for me was the headaches, remember? I don't think I lost many memories. But I was shocked by some of the things that happened to the rest of you. Any time Quistis junctioned with Shiva, she would become so cold and withdrawn. Squall seemed filled with repressed anger if he was junctioned with Ifrit - not just his usual "whatever" attitude. And remember that time you were junctioned to Carbuncle for nearly a week? It was a full day before you could speak properly!'

His girlfriend giggled, suddenly. 'It was really only a couple of hours,' she admitted, 'but it was so funny seeing you trying to work out what "peep-peep" meant!'

He smiled back at her, but not with any enthusiasm. 'I was worried about you, Selph! I thought there might have been some permanent damage to you, to anyone who junctioned to the GFs. Nobody knows enough about them. What are they? Where do they come from? How exactly does junctioning work and what effect does it have on the human brain, long-term?

'Do you know what Seifer told me? Selph! Listen, please. He said that he can't remember a single moment of living in the orphanage but he remembers every punch his father threw at him and his mother. It's not just memories that they take, it's which memories.'

She took a good swallow of her coffee to give herself time to answer. What he had told her about their former enemy did touch her – how could it not? – but she could not respond directly to the information. Her feelings about him were just too complicated. 'Cid is looking into all that, you know?' she said, instead. 'Most use of GFs has been suspended while the research is being done.'

'Yeah, I know.' He drained his cup slowly, as if to put off what he said next as long as possible. 'But GFs are only part of the problem.'

'Kids with guns, huh?'

He nodded. 'I don't even know where to begin with how wrong that is. I know that training them how to use guns properly makes them safer – but do you have to start so young?'

'Weren't you about ten when your Uncle Dan got you your first gun? Garden doesn't introduce Junior Classmen to weapons until they're twelve.'

'That was different,' he replied, but with a wry smile. 'All I did was shoot at rabbits and most of what I killed ended up in the pot. He taught me never to point a gun at anyone, loaded or not. I knew guns could hurt people if they weren't used properly. It never occurred to me that people might use them to deliberately harm others!

'OK, so Garden introduces the JCs to weapons when they're twelve. But how to maintain a gun is still the first thing they are taught, before it's even decided if they will use a gun! And survival training doesn't start until thirteen and never forms part of the final SeeD exam.'

'We're reviewing both of those policies, too,' she told him, shifting position so that her legs were curled on the couch. 'Basic survival skills are too important to be left until later. There are some qualified SeeDs who can't even light a fire without using magic! That's just ridiculous. Perhaps we should rethink gun training, too. I don't know...'

'Selph, I... I don't want to tell Garden how to run itself. I know I have no right. I chose to leave and I have to stand by that decision; let go of it, completely – I shouldn't stand on the side-lines and sling mud. Seifer's words, but pretty accurate, eh?' He grinned, but when he got no response, he continued, 'Perhaps Esthar needs a Garden - the boost to the economy alone is probably a good enough reason for setting one up.'

'It feels like there should be a better reason, though,' she replied. She stood, suddenly and crossed over to his couch, curling up next to him. 'Thanks for talking to me about this, Irvy. It's given me a lot to think about. I think I need to talk to Rinoa and even... him... maybe... But I'll wait it until I get back to Trabia. It's spoiled enough of my visit!'

Just at that moment, the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of their purchases from the day before and the rest of the day was spent arranging everything to Selphie's satisfaction.

_A/N - so, what do you think? Oh, I should add that none of the characters, locations or monsters of FF8 belong to me - they are the property of Square-Enix. References to the characters' early lives come from the 'Monday's Child' series by Lady Aliena, which you can read __here__ !_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N - striking while the iron is hot! In other words, I'm writing what's in my head while it's still there :D Please note that a) I don't own any of the characters, locations or monsters from FF8 and b) any references to the characters' early lives come from the 'Monday's Child' series by Lady Aliena.  
_  
**Chapter 3**

The mini-Ragnarok flew slowly through the perfect blue sky over Esthar. It could be powered by both conventional fuel and solar-charged batteries, but Selphie had switched both off so that the little air-ship's engine was powered just by the solar-panels on its wings. This made the journey slower but she was in no rush; she had a lot to think about.

What Irvine had told her had certainly come as a surprise and she was still trying to take it all in. However, the more she thought about it, the more she was forced to admit he was right. Her own experience with GFs had happened very young. She had forgotten all about it until recently. Things like that worried her.

And then there was the business about arming children and then sending them out to help the highest bidder prove that might was right. She had honestly never seen SeeD in those terms before and it made her uncomfortable. Somehow, she was going to have to work out what that meant for her future. Would she be prepared to leave SeeD completely if she could not reconcile the reality to her moral compass? At the moment, though, she was on the inside and she had to try to change the organisation. What she wanted to change it to, she had no idea.

A blinking light on her dashboard caught her attention, informing her that she was approaching the Esthar/Trabia border. Not far to go now. The sky outside her windscreen remained blue but the guage that showed the external temperature was dropping rapidly. She got up and walked to the locker at the back of the cockpit, inside which were her Cockatrice-down jacket and snowboots. Carrying her cold-weather clothing she returned to her seat and sat down. She changed her footwear right away, but left the jacket draped over the back of the seat; she would not need that until the last moment.

Leaning back, she wondered idly whether Irvine had left her cushions and rugs out, or whether he had already put them away. A small smile touched her lips at the thought of her boyfriend. Thinking of him prompted thoughts of the other people he had been talking to and her own promise to talk to them as well.

Talking to Rinoa would not be a problem, though she did not know what the Sorceress' particular views were or whether she had shared them with Squall. The important thing was the bond that had formed between the two girls during their battle against Ultimecia; she was sure that their friendship could survive anything. Her real problem was contacting... him. Seifer. There, she had said (OK, thought) his name. For the first time since the SeeD exam. How was she supposed to contact him, let alone broach the subject with him? It suddenly occurred to her that Irvine might have a number for him, though he hadn't mentioned it. And so might Rinoa. The best thing was to speak to her friend, she decided, and soon. If it went badly with her, there was no hope of getting anywhere with anyone else.

Her mind came back to her immediate surroundings as she switched the engines to fuel on the final approach to Trabia Garden. She hovered the mini-Ragnarok delicately above the landing-strip, before landing with her usual pin-point accuracy. Most of the time, she came across as being rather ditzy, but she was anything but an airhead. She never let her love for fun get in the way of work and often surprised people with her high expectations for herself and them. Parking neatly was a matter of pride as much as anything else.

Pulling on her jacket and grabbing her bag, she clicked the button that let down the steps of her beautiful red flying machine. She stroked its outer surface as she reached the tarmac, enjoying the touch of the silky-smooth finish. If it was a cat, she thought, it would be purring. Smiling at her own fancies, she walked away from the hanger that it shared with the other air-ships belonging to Trabia Garden. She was glad of her jacket and boots; above her, the sky was cloudless but there was a keen wind that whipped up little flurries of snow, whirling them around her ankles. The entrance to the Garden was only a few yards away and she hurried across to it.

Inside, she showed her security pass to the SeeD on the gate. He examined it carefully before waving her through. 'Good to see you back, Selphie!' he grinned. She grinned back, her troubles temporarily forgotten in the joy of being home. There was little that gave her more pleasure than feeling chill air on her cheek and smelling snow on the wind. Cuddling up to Irvine in the warmth of her room came pretty close, though.

Almost skipping along the corridors of Trabia Garden, she made her way to her quarters, waving to people she knew (almost everyone) as she passed them. Until she had spoken to Rinoa, she really did not think she could manage to make small-talk with anyone else. Her stomach informed her that it was a long time since breakfast, and she made a brief stop at the cafeteria to grab a sandwich and a coffee. It was good to get inside her room and close the door behind her. For the briefest of moments, she was completely at ease.

She went straight to her computer terminal and switched it on, flicking through her e-mails as she munched on her sandwich. With the junk deleted, she replied to the most urgent and left the rest. There really was no excuse to put this off any longer.

Suddenly, her bag caught her eye. She decided that she might as well unpack it, now, rather than leave it lying untidily in the middle of her floor. In fact, looking around her room, she thought that the whole place could use a tidy. She had left it in rather a mess when she left for Irvine's.

Half an hour later, the tiny room was gleaming. In reality, she could have stopped after five minutes when everything was tidied away, but some sort of cleaning fairy seemed to have possessed her and she had ended up polishing every flat surface and then vacuuming the carpet.

Running a hand through her hair, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror that sat on her chest of drawers. A dusty streak adorned her forehead and fringe. There was nothing for it - she was going to have to take a shower. As soon as she was presentable, she would definitely call Rinoa.

She took her time in the shower, allowing the hot water to ease the tension she had not realised she was carrying in her shoulders. The chocolate, coffee and orange scent of her shower gel wafted around her, making her feel good enough to eat. Shame she was all alone, tonight...

Eventually, she realised that she really could not spend all night in the shower, much as she might like to. She turned off the water and wrapped herself in Garden's standard issue grey towels. Padding back into her bedroom, she selected the Cactuar pyjama suit that Irvine had bought her for her last birthday. The suit was made of green velour with spines embroidered all over it. There was a hood attached to the jacket.

Dressed in her pyjamas, she was in the middle of towel-drying her hair, when her computer signalled that there was a call coming through. Realising that she had not spoken to Irvine since that morning, she decided that the call must be from him and clicked the button to connect without even checking.

Her caller was certainly blonde-haired, but the face staring back at her did not belong to her boyfriend.

'Hey there, Messenger Girl,' smirked Seifer. 'Nice PJs!'

_A/N - OK, that's Ch3 done. At last. Please comment! BTW - you can buy shower gel that's scented with chocolate, coffee and orange; it's called 'Sonic Death Monkey' and is available from .uk._


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N – first the legal bit! I do not own Final Fantasy 8, its characters, locations or creatures; they are the property of Square Enix._

_This story, however, is mine. Now that the summer is here, I'm not studying quite so hard (can't drop the habit entirely, though!) and I'm hoping to get two or three more chapters out. I have been encouraged to continue by those kind enough to read and comment on what there is so far (in particular Eden Grey) and also those who have helped me with plot issues and FF8 cannon (in particular Lassarina Aoibhell). BTW – Eden and Lassarina are great writers; look them up!_

_Finally, thank you for taking the time to read. I hope you enjoy!_

**Chapter 4**

Selphie scowled at the screen.

'What do you want?' she snapped.

'It's more a case of what you want, isn't it?' The smirk did not waver for an instant. She wanted to reach into the screen and slap it off his face.

'What are you drivelling on about?'

'The cowboy said you wanted to talk to me. I've got some free time this evening, so I thought I'd save you the trouble of calling me.'

'Irvine gave you my number?'

'Actually, he didn't. I just rang Trabia's main number, told the central switchboard I was an old friend trying to get in touch, and they put me right through. Wasn't that nice of them?'

'I'll have to talk to someone about security protocols on outside calls,' she replied through gritted teeth.

'You do that, Messenger Girl. But my time is precious, so... shall we get down to business?'

The process of bandying words with him had at least the positive effect of allowing her to collect her thoughts a little. Taking a deep breath, she began, 'Irvine told me that... that the GFs had affected your memories.' Unsure how to continue, she allowed her voice to trail off.

A flicker of pain crossed his face, gone so quickly she was not sure she had seen it. At least the smirk had definitely gone. 'Yeah, they did. Of course, Ultimecia did a number on my head, too, so it's impossible to say what's due to the GFs and what's due to her.' He smiled, weakly.

This display of vulnerability was not what she had expected from him. She still did not like him, she could never like him, but she was a little less hostile, now.

'Whoever did what to my mind, there's one thing I'm sure of, though.' He looked right into her eyes, holding her gaze.

'What?' she whispered. The tension of the moment was almost unbearable.

'It's all Garden's fault.' The words were spoken slowly, evenly, without any trace of emotion. But she was still staring into his eyes and there was a world of pain in their depths.  
She took a deep breath in an attempt to regain some composure and to gain some time before she spoke again. Her thoughts were in a jumble and she had to find some way of making sense of them.

'How can you blame Garden for what happened with Ultimecia?' she asked finally, as much for the sake of saying something as for hearing his answer.

He gave a snort of derision. 'Still the loyal little soldier, aren't you? Ready, willing and able to hand your life over...'

'Look, if all you're going to do is insult me...' she began, her irritation now provoked into real anger. He held up a hand to halt her tirade and she even thought there was a trace of an apology in his eyes though there was none in his voice.

'Garden taught me to kill on command, with no qualms for the victim or thought for the consequences. Somehow, I was never able to square that idea with the Knightly ideal of chivalry and fair play. Now, the sensible thing might have been for me to leave, but where was I supposed to go? I have no family; the only home I'd ever known was Garden.

'Perhaps that was why I kept failing the SeeD exam. I couldn't bring myself to become what Garden was trying to make me - but I had nowhere else to go. And I had no idea how to begin working out who I wanted to be. Except that I had to be the exact opposite of Puberty Boy,' he gave a low chuckle at that.

'Anyway, when Ultimecia needed a loyal Knight, she didn't have to look far. She used Edea's memories of me to trap and torture us both...' his voice faltered and he passed a hand over his eyes. He suddenly looked much older. Raising his eyes to hers again, he continued, 'If Garden was set up to destroy Sorceresses, how is it that they created the perfect Knight for Ultimecia to use?'

She stared at him, her mind racing. 'What... what are you suggesting? You think it was... deliberate...'

'No, Selphie, I don't. I don't think it was deliberate. But they should have been able to spot the signs. I should never even have begun the training, let alone get as far as I did. And what safeguards do you have that the same thing might not happen again? Your recruits might be volunteers with families to go home to rather than orphans with no other choice... but what sort of vetting process do you have except their parents' bank balance?'

His final question made her wince. Some of the children did get scholarships but most were funded through their parents paying fees. The money raised through SeeD activities paid the wages of those SeeDs, not their training. Suddenly, she realised that he had actually called her by her name.

'Seifer...' somehow she had managed to return the compliment without choking, though she could not quite meet his eyes. 'Could I... would you give me your number? In case...'

'Of course.'

She looked up, then, to find an expression she could not quite read on his face. 'Thanks,' she said, simply.

'See ya, Messenger Girl!' he drawled back and then cut the connection before she had chance to respond.

She leaned back in her chair, her thoughts in total confusion. How _had_ Garden missed the signs that Seifer would provide a Sorceress with the perfect Knight? He was a romantic in the old fashioned sense of the word, his head filled with dreams of personal glory and noble causes. The Discipline Committee had been the closest thing he had to realising those dreams, swaggering around and telling off the Junior Classmen for being out two minutes after curfew. And of course, he had his loyal squires, Rajin and Fujin.

Then had come his arrest for attacking and kidnapping the Galbadian President and the news that he had been executed. She could remember how she had felt at that moment, the shock that someone her own age could have been killed, the feeling of loss of 'one of their own'; and Rinoa's reaction had struck her, too, the news that the girl who had hired them had spent the previous summer getting close to him.

All of that had been pretence, though. He was not really dead but was acting as Knight to the Sorceress. Instead of being a tragic and romantic victim, he was an aider and abetter of their sworn enemy.

Was that why she had been so angry at him? because he had not died when she felt he should have?  
The thought was an ugly one but she could not completely dismiss it. She prided herself on her honesty, especially with herself. There were other, legitimate, reasons to dislike him and she was certain that they had played their part in her response to him. But there was no getting away from the feeling that he had somehow thrown all of her sympathy and sadness back in her face, however unwittingly.

She stretched stiff muscles that had cramped from sitting too long in the upright computer chair. What she needed was a cup of hot chocolate and her bed. Before she left the computer, however, she sent Irvine an e-mail that let him know she had spoken to Seifer but did not tell him the outcome. It might worry him a bit, which would serve him right for not contacting her himself.


	5. Chapter 5

_And on we go! Of course, none of the characters, creatures or locations from FF8 belong to me, they belong to Square Enix. Any references to the characters' early lives are drawn from Lady Aliena's excellent 'Monday's Child' series.  
_  
**Chapter 5**

**  
**The next day, Selphie found herself unable to settle to anything. At around lunchtime, she gave up and went for a walk around the Memorial Garden that had been created in remembrance of those killed in the missile attack. It had been laid out in the form of a labyrinth, a single path that snaked its way through ever-green trees and shrubs, plants chosen because they would survive in the harsh Trabian climate. She looked down at her feet, placing each step carefully to leave a clear print in the fresh snow. The plants were still hardly at waist height so there was no puzzle involved in getting to the centre, but that was not the point.

The point was just to follow the path. Selphie followed it, her mind empty but peaceful.

Irvine had sent her a jokey-romantic e-card, apologising for springing Seifer on her. She had called him to tell him what they had discussed. What she was going to do about all of this was as much a mystery as ever; but for now, all she had to do was to follow the path.

At the heart of the labyrinth was a simple stone, engraved with the names of the staff and students who had perished on that terrible day. Arriving back to find her home a mangled ruin was one of the memories she would never lose. She laid a hand on the stone, silently recalling those she had known and wishing she had known them all.

A shiver ran through her body, reminding her how cold it was out of doors in spite of her warm jacket, ski pants and boots. With a sigh, she turned and retraced her steps, leaving a second line of pristine footprints and taking care not to step on those she had made earlier.

Looking up, she realised that two figures were waiting near the entrance. It took a moment for her to recognise them, muffled in coats, scarves and hats as they were.

Then, 'Rin! Quisty!' she yelled at the top of her lungs, even though they were only a few yards away. 'Be with you in a sec!'

The two young women smiled and waved and waited patiently for her to complete the labyrinth. Perhaps she did walk a little faster coming out than going in but it would have been unfair to keep her friends standing in the cold.

'I thought we might find you here,' said Quistis.

Rinoa grinned. 'Surprise!'

'But what are you... how did you... I was going to call you!'

'Irvine told me, yeah.'

'And Seifer told me...'

'Well, you're here now! Let's get you inside. First stop the cafeteria for hot chocolate and sticky buns.' She linked arms with the other two girls and hurried them over to the main building of Trabia Garden.

When they arrived at her room, well supplied with snacks, they stripped off their cold-weather clothes, found a place to sit and settled down. Selphie nibbled nervously at her bun, putting off the moment of starting The Conversation for as long as possible.

'You still haven't told me why you're here,' she stated, glad that she had found an alternative topic of conversation.

Rinoa rolled her eyes, obviously seeing through the tactic, but she replied, anyway. 'Quisty and I have been sort of planning a retreat to the Shumi Village for a while, now. When Irvine and Seifer told us you needed to talk to me we decided to push our plans forward.'

'And Squall just let you go?' Selphie asked, genuinely surprised.

The other two glanced at each other and giggled. 'We told him it was a woman issue,' said Quistis.

'He turned a bit green and said he hoped we'd have a great time,' the Sorceress continued.

Selphie grinned. 'Poor Squall! But... you didn't tell him why you were really coming?'

There was another glance between the two girls. 'No,' Quistis replied, finally. 'Seifer isn't as considerated as Irvine; he's never made a secret to me of how he feels about Garden. Somehow, I've been hoping that everything would work itself out without me having to do something drastic. Stupid, I know, but...' she gave a shrug. 'I haven't said anything to Squall, though. I just haven't known how to begin.'

Rinoa picked up the thread. 'I've tried to talk to him, but he just won't understand the issue.' She took a deep breath and continued, 'Selph... haven't you ever wondered how a Knight can lead an organisation that exists to destroy Sorceresses?'

Opening her mouth to respond, Selphie suddenly realised that she had no answer to the question. It seemed ridiculous, now, but she had never considered that. She slowly shook her head.

'Well, I have. I've thought of little else. Squall refuses to acknowledge that there's any conflict of interest. But if he had to choose between saving the world from me and saving me from the world, he'd choose me, everytime; not because he doesn't take his job seriously but because he's a Knight with a Sorceress to protect.'

There was a moment's silence while Selphie digested this. She looked at her friend and was struck by the conviction that she too would abandon her duty to Garden to defend her.

'But... what about Matron and Cid?' she asked. 'Cid set up Garden and created SeeDs knowing that his wife was a Sorceress. And he was her Knight, too.'

'They want to talk to all of us about that,' replied Quistis. 'You know they've been renovating the Lighthouse, converting the orphanage into an hotel? They wanted us to go and stay there to try out the facilities, anyway, give them a dry run as it were. Rin and I have spoken to Matron about our concerns and she agreed that we all need to meet up. We need to get all this in the open and properly discussed. So, she suggested we combine the two.'

'When?'

Rinoa smiled gently. 'The sooner the better, right?'

The other two nodded in agreement. With that topic seemingly at an end, at least for the moment, they turned their attention to discussing the new shops in Esthar until it was time for the visitors to leave.

Selphie's room felt somehow empty when they had gone but her head was even fuller. She needed a way of fixing all of these random bits of information so that she could look at them properly. For now, however, she needed to get some work done and she wandered off, reluctantly, to her office.

_A/N - so, getting the girls to Trabia was a little contrived but I wanted Selphie and Quistis to talk, too, without delaying the next part of the story with yet another talking-heads chapter! More action to come in Chapter 6, promise :D_


	6. Chapter 6

_I'm keeping going! So, yeah - the characters, locations, monsters, etc aren't mine, they are Square-Enix's. Also, any reference to the characters' early lives is inspired by Lady Aliena's 'Monday's Child' series. The story, however, is all mine!___

**Chapter 6****  
**It was surprising, really, how easily she slipped back into the daily routine, Selphie reflected as she sipped her mid-afternoon coffee. Three days had gone by since her friends had visited and she had hardly even noticed the time passing. The girls were leaving the Shumi Village today but weren't planning to call on her.

She finished her drink and set the cup down. The last bell of the day rang loudly throughout the building, signalling to the students that lessons were over until the morning. Her own office was situated at the end of a corridor that students hardly ever visited. Although she had overall responsibility for the welfare of the Junior Classmen, it was largely an administrative role. She only really saw students at the early stages of complaints or disciplinary procedures.

As the bell died away, she became aware of the sound of approaching footsteps. Expecting that it would be one of her co-workers, she looked at the door. Rather than walking straight in as she expected, however, her visitor knocked.

Puzzled, she called out, 'Come in!'

A boy of about fifteen, wearing a cadet's uniform, entered. 'Er... SeeD Tilmett?' he asked.

She smiled at him. 'That's right. My name's on the door and everything.'

'Oh, er, yeah... I saw that.'

'So, what brings you to my lair?' She laughed at the startled expression on his face. 'I'm sorry, I'm just not used to students visiting me unannounced. I'm usually contacted by an Instructor or a student counsellor, first. So, what's the problem? A complaint about another student? or perhaps you need a coursework extension?'

The boy shook his head. 'It's nothing like that, SeeD Tilmett. My name's Robbie Zecht - I'm taking the SeeD exam in a few weeks. I'll be the youngest SeeD ever - I'll even beat SeeD Trepe!'

'That's great, Robbie - Cadet Zecht. I hope you pass the exam with flying colours. You know, this year's SeeD Ball...'

'But that's not why I'm here,' he interrupted. 'I need to show you something.'

'Show me something...? Robbie, I'm not sure...'

The boy leaned across the desk, gazing directly into her eyes. He had deep brown, almost black, eyes. 'I've seen a unicorn,' he whispered, 'a real one. But it wouldn't let me touch it. You have to come...'

She shook herself, suddenly aware of how still she had been sitting. 'A unicorn? Where do you think you saw it?'

'You don't believe me,' he stated, stepping back from the desk, his face wearing the most crest-fallen expression she had ever seen.

'I didn't say that. It's just that no-one's ever reported seeing a... a unicorn around here. Let's get changed,' she waved a hand at her clothes that were designed for a day in a centrally-heated office, not tramping through the snow, 'and then you can show me where it is, OK?'

With a grin, Robbie scampered off. Selphie left her office more slowly, locking the door behind her. She stopped at a door further along the corridor and knocked, entering when invited to do so by the room's occupant.

'Selphie!' Alize Sentha cried. 'What a nice surprise! Can I get you a coffee? herbal tea?'

Her visitor shook her head. 'I need a favour, Al. A cadet has just come to me and asked me to see what he claims is a unicorn. Going out for an unscheduled field trip with a student isn't exactly breaking the rules but it's seriously bending them. So, I was wondering...'

'Let me get my outdoor things on and I'll meet you by the front gate!' her friend replied.

'Actually, I was planning on riding rather than walking, so I'll see you by the chocobo stables, OK?'

About half an hour later, three chocobos and riders could be seen making their way across the Trabian snowfields. Robbie had been surprised by Alize's appearance but the student counsellor was a favourite with the students. She and Selphie had become friends whilst organising the previous year's SeeD Ball during which they had discovered a mutual love of parties, decorations and dance music.

With the youngest member of the group acting as a guide, they made their way towards the nearest mountain. Suddenly he halted his chocobo and pointed to a dark opening that was only twenty feet or so up the mountainside.

'It's in there,' he stated, solemnly.

Selphie sat astride her own bird and felt a shiver go through her body that had nothing to do with the biting cold. There certainly was something in that cave; she could sense its presence even at this distance. A feeling of dread swept over her and it was only with an effort of will that she could urge her chocobo forward after the others. As they drew nearer and nearer to the mountain's foot, however, the sense of impending danger grew in proportion. Just as her chocobo stepped onto the path that led up to the cave entrance the feeling overwhelmed her completely and she found herself unable to go any futher.

'Robbie... Al... I'm... I'm sorry. I can't go any further. I just can't. There's a GF in that cave; I can sense it. I need to get back to Garden and contact Quistis. She has to know about this. Come on!'

Without another word, without even waiting to see if the others were following, she turned her mount around and began following their trail back towards Trabia Garden. Even though the sense of oppression lifted the further she was from the cave and its resident, the journey back seemed to take twice as long as that to the mountain.

When they arrived back she dismounted and handed the reins to the stable-lad in silence before hurrying to her room. She sent a text to Quistis asking her to contact her urgently, needing to know that the other SeeD would take care of this for her. The confidence that was so much a part of her personality seemed drained completely by the encounter, even though she had not seen the GF face to face. Her own reaction would be just as important to her friend's research, she knew.

The light on her computer blinked, announcing a call coming through. She cliked the 'Accept' button and felt a pang of guilt as Alize's face appeared.

'Al, I'm so sorry! You must think I'm a complete idiot.'

'Not at all, Selph. You clearly had a strong reaction to whatever was in that cave. I was just worried about you. Do you need me to come over, talk it through? I'm good at listening; it's what I get paid for.'

Smiling, Selphie shook her head. 'I'm fine, really. At least, I will be once I've spoken to Quistis.' She paused and then continued, 'Actually, you could come over as long as you promise to come prepared to watch weepy movies and not to talk about unicorns?'

'It's a deal! I'll even supply the popcorn. See you later.'

She cut the connection, took a deep breath and then dialled Quistis' mobile, wanting to get this conversation over with rather than wait for the other woman to contact her. Efficient as always, her friend answered on the second ring.

'Selphie! What's up? I was just going to call you; your text gave me a bit of a fright.'

'Would you be able to make a diversion on your way home? Just you; Rin can go straight home. One of our cadets has found... discovered...' she took a deep breath. 'Quistis, there's a GF in a cave up here and it's terrifying the life out of me and I need to know that you're going to come and take it away. Now!'

'OK, Selphie. It's OK. I'm on my way. I'll call Balamb and get some back-up. Unless there's anyone in Trabia...? No, that's fine. I'll let you know how I get on. Bye for now!'

The line went dead and she leaned over to close down her computer. It was only then that she realised that she had been holding her breath. Just knowing that her friend was handling the situation made her feel a million times better. There was no sense in her reaction to the GF, really. After all, she had Junctioned with other GFs without a thought - why should she be so terrified by one, now? One that she had never even seen?

But her conversation with Irvine had unsettled her in ways that were only just becoming clear to her. It was no longer enough to know on an intellectual level that Quistis and her team were investigating GFs. The reality of their effect on the human mind was somehow more immediate now that she herself was not using them. What might Quistis learn from this new example? Did she really want to know?

Part of her did, she realised, whilst the rest of her recoiled from the idea of ever having anything to do with them again. There was nothing rational about this reaction at all. Her response to the thing in the cave had been purely instinctual; she had needed to put as much distance between herself and it as possible. Even now, just the thought that it was so close was making her feel sick.

A knock on the door made her jump, and then she remembered her invitation to Alize. Mentally scolding herself, she let her friend in and firmly chased scary unicorns out of her head.

_So, hope you enjoyed this one! Don't forget to R&R :D_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N 1 - So, here we go with the next chapter. Things will start to pick up a bit, from now on :D___

_A/N 2 - Oh, yeah; I don't own any of the characters, locations or creatures from FF8 and any references to the characters' early lives are drawn from the 'Monday's Child' series by Lady Aliena (look it up on-line).___

_A/N 3 - I confess that I've given very little thought to the technology available to our chums, post game. I'm using machines (laptops, mobiles, etc) that seem natural to a given situation, but I can understand that they might seem too much part of our world and jar for some people. I may do a re-write in the future and address this issue properly. For now, I can only apologise.___

_A/N 4 - Irvine's fear of flying is purely my own invention. If you want to know more, please read my fic 'Superman'. Iris is the 'library girl' in my personal FF8 Universe. I have a couple of fics about her, too - 'Iris' and 'An aching heart'.___

Chapter 7****

Selphie clambered into the Mini Ragnarok clutching her trusty holdall. It was slightly heavier than when she had visited Irvine but only because she was going away for longer. The planned trip to the Lighthouse had finally been arranged and she was looking forward to seeing the whole gang together, again. As she fired up the engines, she wondered idly when they had last been in the same place at the same time. It was a bit of a shock to realise that it was probably at the Ball to celebrate the end of the war with Ultimecia.

The next few minutes required all her concentration as she lifted out of Trabia Garden and set course for Esthar, where she was due to collect her boyfriend. Once she was properly airborne, she switched to autopilot. The sky was a beautiful blue and clear and she simply gazed out of the windscreen, enjoying the sensation that it was she that was flying. The sense of freedom could not last, however, and soon larger aircraft appeared. With a sigh, she took over the controls again, and guided her little red dragon into its landing spot.

Irvine was waiting for her and hopped straight on board. He gave her a quick peck on the lips and then strapped himself in. The door whispered shut behind him and they rose gently into the air once more. She tried to make the lift-off as smooth as possible. Her boyfriend had never confessed his fear of flying but she was still aware of his fixed stare and white knuckles.

As soon as they were out of the main air lanes, she was able to switch on the autopilot again and turned her thoughts to trying to distract him. She unclipped her seat belt and settled herself into his lap.

'Hello, Irvy,' she said, before planting a lingering kiss on his lips. Her plan to take his mind off flying appeared to be working. One arm settled firmly around her waist, whilst his other hand tangled in her hair. The kiss deepened.

Reluctantly, she pulled away. There were things that she needed to talk to him about while they were alone and he could not escape, things that she had not wanted to discuss during their webcam conversations.

'Irvy,' she began, her gaze fixed on the buttons of his shirt that she was idly fiddling with. 'Irvy... have you spoken to... to him?'

The cowboy raised an eyebrow at her. 'Selphie darlin', if you're going to insist on talking about this, you're going to have to say his name.'

'You're being a meanie! You know exactly who I'm talking about.'

'You're very cute when you pout,' he drawled, planting a light kiss on her nose. 'But the fact remains - you either say his name out loud, or I find something more interesting to do.'

There was no skill in guessing what he meant and the glint in his eye made her almost give in to the temptation of finding out exactly what was on his mind. But she was determined to talk this out.

'OK, OK!' she held up her hands in defeat. 'Have you spoken to... Seifer.' The final word was muttered so quietly she hardly heard it herself, but her boyfriend generously let her off the hook.

'Yes, Selphie, I have spoken to Seifer about the conversation you two had. He was very impressed by the fact that you listened to what he had to say. He really thinks that you might be the one who can bring about change at Garden.'

'Change?! I don't want to _change_ anything!' She hesitated, 'No, that's not quite true. You and... Seifer... and Rinoa are all right - there is something wrong in the way Garden operates. But until I know what it is, I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. Or even if I'm the one that's supposed to do anything!'

'Selph, calm down. Breathe for Hyne's sake. Seifer isn't trying to recruit you for his own personal vendetta, you know? He just thinks you're the best placed person to see this through. If, or when, you decide there's something to see through.'

She nodded slowly to show that she'd understood, but her forehead was still creased in a thoughtful frown. 'OK, I'm happy that Seifer doesn't want me for the Disciplinary Committee,' she said, earning a chuckle from her companion. 'There's just so much to sort through, which is partly the point of this little trip, after all. And then there's the new GF...'

'Oh, yeah. How's Quistis getting on with her research into it?'

'I don't know. She was really cagey about it the first couple of times I asked so I stopped asking. Hopefully, she'll have some news this weekend.'

Now it was Irvine's turn to look thoughtful. 'Hopefully. Did you tell her about your reaction to it?'

'Yeah; she was really interested by it. She got the med team at Trabia to give me a bit of a psych test! They showed me pictures of all sorts of creepy monsters - everything from Bite Bugs to Ruby Dragons. Well, you know me!' she giggled. 'Not a flicker of fear with any of them.

'But then they showed me...' she swallowed hard and then continued more quietly, 'they showed me a picture of Carbuncle. Just the picture made me feel sick. I love that little guy, you know I do! But I just couldn't look at him. They tried Eden next. They put the cards away after that.'

Just the memory of that session was making her tremble. It was a stupid reaction, she knew it was. They were just pictures, after all. But what she had felt was real enough.

She realised that she had been silent for several seconds now and gave herself a mental shake. 'So,' she continued, 'they sent the results back to Quisty. I'm hoping she'll update me on that, too.'

'We'll work this out, Selph,' Irvine assured her, giving her a quick squeeze and she hugged him back more fiercely. She had never been so grateful for his presence.

Both fell silent, absorbed by their own thoughts. The bleep that announced they were nearing the Lighthouse took them by surprise. Selphie quickly returned to her own seat to steer her flying machine in to land on the flower field next to their old home.

They gathered their belongings and popped open the door. The scent of the flowers blew into their faces and she was suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of deja vu. She swayed slightly and fell back against her boyfriend.

'You OK?' he asked, anxiety clear in his voice.

She nodded weakly. 'Yeah, I'm fine. I just got a memory... a feeling...'

'What kind of feeling?'

'The feeling of... being home...' She turned to face him, her eyes shining with tears of joy. 'Do you think our memories can be repaired? If we're unjunctioned from the GFs for long enough, I mean?'

'Selph, I just don't know. Sounds like another snippet of info for Quisty, though, huh?'

'Definitely!' She returned her attention to the exit. 'Oooh, look! The White SeeD Ship is at the dock; the others must be here, already. Come on, Slowcoach!'

Without another word she was gone, a pint-sized, auburn-haired whirlwind. The cowboy followed only a little more sedately.

As small as the Mini Ragnarok was, it could not be flown or landed silently and Matron was at the door of the new Lighthouse Hotel to greet them. They both allowed themselves to be drawn into her warm embrace while she murmered words of welcome into their hair. She released them, finally, but only to catch their hands and lead them inside the building.

'Everyone's down by the beach,' she told them, a smile stretching almost from ear to ear across her face. 'I can't tell you how happy I am to see all of my children together, again.'

'And we're sooo excited about being here. Are we going to have fireworks? and a sing-song round the campfire? Has Cid got his harmonica?!'

She stopped suddenly as she realised the older woman's eyes were fixed on her face. 'Do you remember Cid's harmonica?' she asked, half curious half eager.

'No... not really. It just seemed like the right thing to say.'

'Well, don't worry about it now, Selphie-sunshine. Just dump your bags in the lounge and let's join the others.'

Selphie nodded gratefully making her hair bounce around her head. With their bags flung carelessly into the room Matron indicated, they followed her outside and down the old path down to the beach. Gentle waves lapped against the clean sand and a soft breeze blew through their hair. A chorus of cheers from the rest of the gang greeted their appearance and then they were amongst them, family, friends, comrades, rivals.

Squall and Cid were in charge of the barbeque and were happily engaged in assembling kebabs and pricking sausages while Rinoa hovered nearby to provide plates, buns and utensils as required. Two couples sat on conveniently placed logs who could not have provided more contrast to each other. On one, Zell and Iris sat close together speaking in low voices. Seifer sat on the sand, his back against another with his legs stretched out in front of him while Quistis sat neat and demure on the log itself.

Selphie bounced across the sand and plonked herself on the log lying between the other two. 'So, when do we eat? I'm famished!'

_OK, so this isn't as far as I wanted to get with the story but this chapter has got so long already that I need to stop. I'll get on with Chapter 8, ASAP - promise!_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N 1: I woke up ridiculously early this morning and while thinking idly about a number of things, some of the scenes in this chapter played out in my head. The opening scene is, therefore, the result of too little sleep and is not due to me being evil to Selphie. Honest *evil grin* I did also get some interesting ideas about the GFs that we will get to in due course.___

_A/N 2: As always, the characters, creatures and locations from FF8 do not belong to me - they are the property of Square Enix. I am making no money from this, etc, etc. Any references that might appear from the characters' early lives are drawn from Lady Aliena's fab 'Monday's Child' series.___

_A/N 3: A big thank you to mariagoner and Eden Grey for keeping up with this so far!___

_A/N 4: I have written this in one day, so if any of it doesn't make sense, that's why.___

**Chapter 8******

Selphie woke late the next morning, muted light falling through the curtains that were drawn across the single window. She was lying naked and alone in a double bed with no memory at all of getting in to it. The sound of a shower came through the open door to the en suite and then stopped. She sat up too quickly and fell back with a groan.

'Last night was fun, wasn't it?' came a familiar voice. Seifer had just emerged from the bathroom rubbing his hair with a towel and another around his waist.

She stared at him in horror, her stomach turning to iced water. A strangled squeak forced its way from her throat.

'The cowboy?' he interpreted. 'Last time I saw him he was tweaking the pigtails of Chicken Wuss' bit of fluff.'

Suddenly, a splutter of laughter came from the bathroom and Seifer doubled up, unable to contain his own mirth. The towel slipped from his waist revealing that he was decently dressed in a pair of shorts and she realised that he was rubbing his dry hair with his t-shirt. Irvine appeared, then, drops of water running down his bare chest and tears running down his face.

'You two are such meanies,' she wailed, earning more laughter from the unrepentant pair.

'You're right, Irv,' said the former Knight. 'She is cute when she pouts.' This earned him a glare from the person under discussion. He grinned that infuriating grin of his, walked across the room and ruffled her hair affectionately. 'See you at breakfast, Messenger Girl,' he said, and then left Irvine to her tender mercies.

Matron was just delivering a platter of eggs and bacon to the dining room table as they entered. The sight of food made Selphie's stomach flip over and while her boyfriend helped himself to a large portion she elected to stick to coffee and toast. Directly opposite her, Seifer was concentrating on his plate and looking a little sheepish. Quistis gave her a kind smile and she guessed that he had been repremanded for his prank.

After everyone had eaten, Matron gave them the full tour. A dozen en suite bedrooms had been built as a second storey to the old orphanage. The lower level had been remodelled to accommodate a lounge, a dining room, a kitchen and an indoor swimming pool. At the rear of the main building, the patch of rough ground had been replaced by a teracotta-tiled terrace from which the old path descended to the beach. Edea and Cid were going to live in the lighthouse itself and were planning on hiring staff to run the hotel.

The day was overcast but warm and the sea grey and moody. Everyone felt like being out of doors, however, and gathered on the terrace for coffee and muffins; Selphie had recovered her appetite by this time and managed three. Quistis swallowed the last of her coffee and put her cup down with a clatter.

'Look, everyone,' she said briskly, 'we can't put this off much longer. You all know I've been researching the effects of GFs and that one of Trabia's Cadets found a new one a few weeks ago. Well, I have some information for you.'

She stood and moved to a part of the terrace where they could all see her. 'So, first of all, what did we already know about GFs? Well, they exist as separate entities that can be 'Junctioned' to the human brain where they displace certain memories in order to take up residence. From there they can be 'Summoned', brought out of the brain as it were, and given a visible form. They are also visible without being Junctioned in certain places.

'One of our first areas of research was into these special places. You will all remember the Fire Cavern where you fought Ifrit. Diablos had his lamp and the new GF was discovered, and seen quite clearly, in a cave in Trabia. So, what do the two caves and the lamp have in common? Well, it's these...' she reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out a dull crystal. 'Both caves contain a number of them and the inside of the lamp was studded with GF Crystal chips.

'We extracted crystals from the Fire Cavern and have created a number of containment fields that the GFs can enter to communicate with us. Shiva and Ifrit are the most communicative. Diablos tends to talk in riddles - our psych expert thinks this is connected to a deep-seated jealousy of Ifrit, but who knows?. GFs such as Carbuncle and Eden are even more of a challenge and we haven't been able to create a field large enough for all of Alexander to fit into, yet!'

She grinned and there was a ripple of laughter. Selphie joined in, but only half-heartedly; her stomach was doing somersaults again and she was regretting the third muffin. The former Instructor was building up to something really, really bad, she just knew it.

The blonde woman took a deep breath, her eyes focussed on the horizon as if she were drawing strength from something far away. 'And now we come to the new GF,' she said, slowly. 'Iris... are you ready?'

As the dark-haired girl stood and walked over to where she stood, a confused murmur arose from the others. Zell sat with his eyes downcast and his fists clenched, but made no other movement. At the next table, Seifer slouched in his chair watching them all with a sardonic half-smile playing around his lips. Tears blurred Selphie's vision, although what had caused them she could not have said.

'We found that Iris was the most compatable with the new GF and she named it Jewel,' said Quistis loudly, and the other voices died away leaving a heavy, expectant hush. She turned to the other girl and nodded slightly. 'Whenever you're ready...'

'Juction Jewel!' the Library Girl stated, quietly but firmly. A sizzle of energy passed over, chillingly familiar. It was the feeling of someone Junctioning a GF.

There was a crash as Irvine stood quickly, tipping his chair over. 'You can't be serious...' he began but fell quiet as Quistis held up her hand.

All eyes turned to Iris. Something about her face had changed; she looked calmer, somehow, as she might look when asleep except that her eyes were wide open and they appeared more alert. Selphie suddenly realised what that look reminded her of; a horse, a little wary but not spooked. A cold feeling crept over her skin. Was that how she had looked when she Junctioned in the past?

'Summon Jewel!'

Lights swirled and Iris was somehow there but not there. In her place stood Jewel, his sides a pearly white, his horn sparkling with silver. There was a sharp scream and it took a moment for Selphie to realise that she herself had not made a sound.

'Rin!' came Squall's voice from behind her.

Iris Dismissed the GF as the others turned their attention to the Sorceress. By this time, the Commander had gathered his girlfriend up and was carrying her indoors and upstairs to their room. Everyone else trooped in after them and gathered in the lounge except for Zell and Iris who remained outside.

A few minutes later, Squall joined them. 'She's sleeping,' he said, briefly.

Zell appeared, his face unusually pale and drawn. 'Iris is taking a walk along the beach. She needs some fresh air.'

'She needs to keep out of my way!' Squall exploded. 'What sort of trick...'

'None of this is Iris' fault,' said Quistis, calmly. 'I suggested she give you a... practical demonstration.'

'What in the name of Hyne,' Irvine began, but he was cut off by the faint sound of a drawn out cry coming from the direction of the beach.

Zell was out of the door in an instant, followed by the rest. They found him kneeling on the sand cradling his girlfriend in his lap. In one hand she clutched a glossy black feather.

'Rin...' she murmured. 'It was... Rinoa.'

_Wow! Two chapters in two days - when was the last time that happened? I have a little more plotted out, so I'll try to crank out the next instalment in the next couple of weeks._


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N 1: apologies for the rushed ending of the last chapter - I will go back and do something with that, soon.___

_A/N 2: none of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8 belong to me because they belong to Square Enix. References to the characters' early lives are drawn from the 'Monday's Child' series by Lady Aliena. My version of Cid & Edea's life before the game is presented in my own fics - 'Sorceress' Knight', 'Aftermath' and 'At the end of the day'.___

_A/N 3: lots of dialogue in this one - hopefully, you'll be able to work out who's speaking, when.___

**Chapter 9******

Squall made a grab at Iris' shoulder. 'What have you done to her, now?' he yelled.

With some difficulty, Seifer and Irvine pulled him back from the stricken girl.

'For Hyne's sake, Squall, look at her!' Zell snapped. 'I think she's the victim, here, don't you?'

Kneeling next to her in the sand, Matron was feeling her pulse and making soothing noises. 'How do you feel, dear? Would you like to lie down for a bit?'

'Y-yes, please.'

'Ummm, Iris, would you... are you up to talking for a bit, first?' asked Quistis.

The other girl looked doubtful but then nodded firmly. 'Best to get it over with, right?'

Zell carried his girlfriend to the lounge and settled her on one of the couches. Holding tightly to his hand, she hesitantly told her story.

'I went down to the beach to Summon Jewel,' she began. 'He was upset by what had happened and I wanted to calm him down.' She looked at the expressions on the faces around her and explained, 'it might seem a strange thing to say - but he was unsettled, skittish. Have none of you experienced a GF's emotions?'

'Well,' Quistis said, slowly, 'I haven't felt anything like you've just described, exactly... but I've felt Shiva's disapproval of Ifrit. I suppose it might be something to do with Jewel being a new GF... the others have more experience of working with humans.' She shrugged. 'How is he now?'

'That's just it; I don't know. He's gone. Rinoa took him!'

There was a sudden burst of conversation at this but Quistis' voice was raised above the others. 'How could that happen? It's impossible to Junction a GF whilst it's Junctioned to someone else - let alone during a Summoning!'

'I don't know how she managed it! But she did. I didn't see her approach; she was just suddenly... there. Then I felt something... someone... in my head. It was like a clawed hand scratching at my mind. And then suddenly, Jewel was gone and I passed out. Then you all came and found me.'

Squall jumped to his feet, his face red with anger. 'I'm not taking any more of this... this Marlboro dung! What she's describing is impossible to begin with and then the idea of Rinoa doing this...'

'Where is Rin?' Matron asked, gently.

He opened his mouth and then closed it again. 'I'll just go and check on her,' he said at last.

While he was gone, she checked Iris over more thoroughly and suggested she go straight to bed. 'I think you've told us as much as we need for now,' she said kindly. 'Right, Quistis?'

The blonde woman took the hint and nodded, and Iris was sent off under Zell's charge. Squall entered the room as they left it, his eyes fixed to the floor.

'She's gone' he said, simply. 'And... I found this on the bed.' He held up the Odine bangle that Rinoa had worn ever since the defeat of Ultimecia.

Zell scowled at him but continued out of the room with his girlfriend. The others shifted uncomfortably. Selphie found that her mouth had gone quite dry, making it impossible for her to speak.

'So, what do we do, now?' Irvine asked, although something in his tone suggested the question was rhetorical.

'We have to find her, of course!' snapped the Commander.

'Well, that's kind of obvious. I meant, what do we do when we find her?'

'Help her! Obviously, something's happened to her. She doesn't normally go around clouting people over the head and snatching their GFs, you know?'

Quistis held up a hand and the two fell quiet. 'I think Irvine is asking what we do if Rinoa proves to be a threat.'

'A threat? What are you talking about? This is Rinoa...'

'Yes, we're talking about Rinoa. The Sorceress. Who, incidentally, isn't wearing the bangle that suppresses her abilities.'

Squall could not have looked more stunned if she had slapped him. In other circumstances, Selphie would have found his expression amusing but now she actually felt sick.

'She warned you,' said Seifer into the silence.

'What are you wittering about, now?' Squall demanded, his face twisted in anger and distrust.

'Rin told me that she'd told you that one day you might have to make a choice...'

This time, Cid, Irvine and Selphie all had to hold the Knight back as he flew at the blonde man. 'When did you speak to her about me?' he spat.

'That hardly matters, does it?' asked Quistis. 'The fact remains that you are the Commander of Garden. Garden trains SeeDs. SeeDs exist to protect the world from Sorceresses. Rinoa is a Sorceress. She is able to use magic and she has possession of a new, untried GF. We don't even know all of Jewel's abilities, yet!

'Now, do you see why we're all a tad anxious?'

'No need to be sarcastic,' he muttered, but he was at least calm enough for the others to release him.

Zell appeared at that moment. 'She's going to try to sleep,' he said before sinking into the nearest chair.

'Now,' said Quistis, also settling into a seat. 'Calmly and sensibly, let's talk about this. The first thing we need to do is find Rinoa - agreed?'

There was a round of nods. 'OK, now we're getting somewhere. Squall, you're her Knight. Do you have any ideas where she might have gone?'

He shook his head, helplessly. 'If we weren't already here, I'd say she'd be waiting on the flower field. That's where she was, before...' Unused to long speeches, he stuttered to a halt.

'Don't think about it too much,' came Cid's voice, then. He shifted uncomfortably under their collective gaze but continued, 'I always knew where Edea was however far apart we were. I just needed to... feel for her. I can't put it any better than that. But you can't force it. Perhaps you should try the flower field, if that's a place that's special to you both. Just go out there, have a wander around, search for her.'

Squall nodded, stood and left without a word.

There was an instant lifting of the tension in the room.

'Now what?' asked Selphie, reslessly. 'Do we just sit and wait for him to come up with a plan?'

'Cid, perhaps you could explain why you set Garden up in the first place?' suggested Quistis. 'It will pass the time and might help us understand things a bit better.'

'You mean, help you understand why I created an organisation committed to the destruction of my wife?' he replied with a sad smile. 'Well, when I met Edea, she was already a Sorceress but her powers were under her own control enough that she could use them for good - mostly for healing. Is that fair, dear?'

His wife nodded and he continued, 'But then Ultimecia appeared on the point of death and passed her powers to Edea. At first, everything seemed fine, but after a while...'

'I began to change,' Matron said, quietly. 'At first, I thought I was just stressed from running the Orphanage. I was snappy and irritable, and I got blinding headaches that would last all day. And then one day I... I just blacked out completely. When I came to, I was halfway to the Centra Ruins. I still have no idea how I got there; I couldn't possibly have walked that far.'

'I followed her trail on a Chocobo. She had gone through the Chocobo Forest near the Orphanage and...' Cid paused awkwardly and then seemed to reach a decision. 'She had scared the poor birds half to death. I don't mean to upset anyone but you should to know what happened.' He smiled apologetically at his wife and she squeezed his hand. 'I brought her home but we both knew that we couldn't ignore what was happening any longer.'

'I was horribly afraid of what I might do. I was not yet possessed by Ultimecia but I could feel her powers growing stronger within me. We had no idea what Ultimecia had done or who had wounded her so badly that she was on the point of death, of course, but I could sense that she found strength in hatred and fear. There was no way I would put you children in danger by staying until she overtook me completely.

'I told Cid what I thought would happen if I stayed and he promised that he would do whatever he could to prevent me from harming you or anyone else. Then I left. I never told him where I was but, as he said earlier, he knew anyway. I was so lonely and I missed you all so much, but I knew it was the right thing to do. And every day, I felt her growing stronger.'

Cid picked up the story, once more. 'I felt that the only way to match the kind of power Edea described was with magic but I had no idea how to go about finding a way of using it. I knew I would need money, though, so I began by contacting all of my parents' friends and relatives. Many were dead by that time and others had lost their money. Eventually, though, one of my uncles put me in touch with NORG.

'I never questioned NORG's obsession with setting up Garden. He had contacts with people who knew how to Junction GFs and magic, people who knew how to create and use weapons, and people who could train others in using these things. He bought Balamb Garden, took up residence in the basement, and left the rest to me. I had unlimited access to his funds; there was never any such thing as "too much"...

'I, in turn, left the real work to others and grew fat and lazy. And when Garden needed my leadership the most, I ducked the responsibility and handed it to an 18 year old boy.'

'You're too hard on yourself, dear,' said Matron, gently, but Cid shook his head.

'There's no getting away from it. He was untried, unready...'

'But it made me who I am,' came a voice from the doorway. They all turned to see Squall leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. 'I might have resented you at the time, Cid, but I wouldn't change anything.'

The former Headmaster gave a wry smile. 'I think there might be a compliment lurking in that sentence,' he said.

Squall shrugged. 'Whatever. I only came back to tell you that I've found her. I know where Rinoa is.'


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N 1: First of all, a bit thank you to everyone who has been kind enough to R&R. Knowing there are people out there who want to read my scribbles keeps me going.___

_A/N 2: I do not own Final Fantasy 8 - Square Enix do. All of the characters, creatures and locations are also theirs (except for Jewel the GF unicorn who has his origins in CS Lewis' The Last Battle). Any references to the characters' early lives is drawn from Lady Aliena's Monday's Child series - look it up, it's brilliant._

_A/N 3: I've still got a couple of weeks before lectures restart, so I might be able to get another chapter out…___

Chapter 10****

Selphie jumped out of her seat. 'Where is she, then?' she asked, breathlessly.

For a moment, she thought Squall was not going to answer, but then he said, 'In the Centra Ruins, believe it or not. Can I borrow the Mini Ragnarok?'

'What in the world for?'

'To use as a kennel for Cerberus. What do you think I want it for?'

'But you can't just zoom straight over there! There are all those Tonberries shuffling around the place for a start.' Selphie shivered; Tonberries gave her the creeps. 'And well...'

'Fine! I'll get a Chocobo from the Chocobo Forest, then.'

He stood up and turned on his heel. Suddenly, the others began to move as if released from a Stop spell. Quists reached him first and got in front of him to bar his way.

'Squall, stop! Think this through. You can't go into the Centra Ruins alone...'

'So, come with me. I'll take you and Zell. Let's go!'

'You're not listening! We could all go and we still wouldn't be prepared enough. We have absolutely no idea what Rinoa is capable of... Squall, just listen! Without her Odine bangle and with an untried GF, who knows what her state of mind is? She managed to steal a _Junctioned GF_, for Hyne's sake! Do you really want to go alone to meet someone who can do that?'

'She won't hurt me...'

'How do you know that? She attacked Iris with no provocation...'

'I know because I'm her Knight! I'm the one person in the world she won't harm because she needs me in one piece.'

'OK, OK, you have a point, there. But what about the rest of us? What if she would harm us? Or if not us, the people of Balamb, or Windhill, or...'

'Alright! You've made your point!'

Quistis and Squall stood facing each other, both breathing as hard as if they had just defeated a T-Rexaur. Selphie found she was holding her breath and let it out slowly. Her stomach was flipping over and over; she hoped she would not actually be sick.

'Why don't I fix us all something to eat?' suggested Matron, breaking the tension. 'We still have a lot to discuss and it won't do to have people fainting on the way.' She smiled gently but nobody seemed to be in the mood to smile back. Irvine and Seifer offered to help and Zell went to check on Iris.

Cid took Squall's arm and guided him to a chair. 'Now, Squall, just take it easy for a bit,' he ordered. 'Edea's right; it's been a trying day so far, and it's a long way from being over.'

The younger man leaned his head against the back of the chair and squeezed his eyes closed. 'I just feel so... helpless,' he said, quietly.

'We all do,' answered Quistis, sitting on one arm of the chair and patting his shoulder affectionately. 'But I promise you that we'll find her and bring her back.'

'I'm scared of what she might do. You're right, you know? I have no idea what she's doing out there!'

'What is she thinking? What is she feeling?' asked Cid.

Squall looked as if he was about to snap at him but then he paused. 'Well, you were right about me knowing where she was,' he commented. 'Perhaps you're right, now.'

He fell silent and the others sat watching him. Selphie noticed a small frown appear between his eyebrows but then it was smoothed away. Suddenly, he opened his eyes and looked at them all.

'She wants me to go to her,' he said. 'That's all I know.'

Matron appeared at the door at that moment. 'There's soup and sandwiches in the dining room,' she said. 'The others are already there so you'd better hurry if you want anything!'

They all trooped out after her. In the dining room the individual tables placed together to make a single table, which was already fairly full. Zell had just helped Iris to a bowl of soup, while Seifer and Irvine were engaged in a cheerful argument about the relative merits of gunblades and rifles. The others found places to sit and tucked in.

Eventually, however, they could put the business off no longer. Matron cleared away the remains of the meal and when she returned with coffee and cakes, they all settled down to talk things through.

Quistis had found a pad of paper and pencil. 'OK, everyone, let's go over this from the beginning.'

'Before we start...' interrupted Squall, 'Iris, I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier. I was completely out of order.'

'There's no need,' Iris replied, 'but thank you. I appreciate it.'

Selphie noticed Quistis grip Seifer's arm quite tightly. The blonde man gave a knowing smirk, but did not pass comment. She gave him silent kudos points for taking the hint.

'Right,' the self-appointed Chair continued, brushing her hair back from her face, 'let's see what we know. And what we don't...

'Firstly, Rinoa has removed her Odine bangle, taken an untried GF by force and gone to the Centra Ruins. I think that, for the moment at least, we have to treat her actions as... unfriendly. Is that fair?'

She scanned the faces around the table and received a round of nods, some more reluctant than others. Squall hesitated the longest but at last even he indicated his acceptance before burying his face in his hands.

'Good; it's important that we're all in agreement, here. Now, we have no idea what Rinoa's motivations for these actions are. Is she acting under her own volition, or someone else's? What we do know is that Squall can feel her calling him to join her. Another question we don't have the answer to at the moment; is she calling him to help her out of a situation she doesn't want to be in?'

Squall lifted his head at this and gave her a grateful smile.

'Clearly, neither of these issues can be resolved by us simply discussing them around this table. We need Rinoa's input and we can only get that by going to the Ruins ourselves. However, it seems to me that there is some power there that is currently unknown to us. I suggest that that power was what attracted Matron to the Ruins many years ago and it has now attracted Rinoa. What do you all think?'

Again she surveyed their faces and received a round of nods in return.

'I think you're right,' said Matron, thoughtfully. 'Thinking back, I feel that I was answering a call, although who was calling me I don't know.'

The younger woman nodded. 'So, the next question is, who or what is in Centra Ruins calling to Sorceresses? It seems sensible to me to ask Odin and TK - Tonberry King - what they know.'

'And how exactly are we supposed to that?' Irvine asked, his unease clear in his voice.

'We've been working on developing a portable version of the containment field but it's still a prototype. And anyway, it would take too long to build a second one and bring both GFs here. The only alternative seems to be for all of us to go to Balamb.' She shrugged slightly.

There was a silence whilst everyone digested this suggestion. Finally, Selphie spoke what she thought everyone was feeling. 'Let's do it,' she said, simply.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N 1: As always, I do not own the characters, locations or creatures from FF8 - they belong to Square Enix. Any reference to the characters' early lives is drawn from the wonderful 'Monday's Child' series by Lady Aliena._

A/N 2: Although the gang will split up during this chapter (and possibly into the next couple of chapters) I will continue to tell the story from Selphie's POV. So, we will know exactly what is happening where she is but everything else will be reported in some way.

_A/N 3: This will probably be the last chapter for a while, but I will continue it, I promise!_

**Chapter 11**

'For Hyne's sake,' yelled Squall, thumping the table. 'We don't have the time! Only the White SeeD ship could get us all back to Balamb in one go and that will take days.'

'Well what else do you suggest?' Quistis asked, her voice clipped by irritation.

'You lot can do what you want. I'm going to the Ruins. _Right now_!'

'Commander! Stand still!'

Everyone turned with surprise to see Cid standing scowling furiously. The younger man turned last, slowly, almost as if against his will. The expression on his face was just as angry, however.

'You can't just go charging off on your own! Haven't you been listening?'

'I told you. I've had enough of listening! It's getting me nowhere.'

Quistis stepped between them. 'Calm down a minute,' she said looking at Squall but clearly addressing them both. 'Selphie can take me back to Balamb in the Mini Ragnarok. Squall - you pick a team and take the sand buggy from the White SeeD Ship. Go carefully, OK? Take your time and don't rush it. Whoever goes with you,' she looked around the faces staring at her, 'has to get you out of there if there's the slightest danger. Right?'

There was a stunned silence.

'I said, "Right?"'

'The Cowboy and I will keep him under control,' drawled Seifer.

'No.' Once again, it was a shock for everyone to realise that Cid had spoken, though more quietly, this time. 'Edea and I have left Squall and Rinoa to deal with this alone for too long. We'll go.'

'I don't know, dear...' Matron began.

'Matron's right. I don't think you two should enter the Ruins,' agreed Quistis.

'But...'

'They can set up a base camp outside the Ruins,' Irvine suggested. 'They'll be in constant contact with us... and with you in Balamb... and they'll be back up. Just in case...'

Selphie felt her stomach turn to iced water. 'In case of what?' she asked in a small voice.

'In case we need to cook us some Tonberry,' Seifer said, in his best imitation-of-Irvine voice.

She managed a tiny smile in reply but the feeling of dread did not leave her.

'So, does everyone know what they're doing?' asked the practical Quistis. 'Zell, you and Iris can stay here, keep the place ready for when we all get back. Is that OK?'

'I was going to suggest just that,' he replied. 'I don't think Iris is ready for another adventure and I don't want to leave her alone.'

'Great! Right then...'

Cid held up a hand. 'There's just one more thing. Squall, I want you to give up your command. Your first – your only – duty, is as a Knight. You can't be Commander of Garden and protect your Sorceress as well. Contact Xu and inform her that she'll be in temporary charge until all this is over, and that SeeDs Trepe, Tilmett and Dincht will also be standing down.'

'No. Let me speak! You dumped this on me when I was too young, too confused, too unprepared... all on a whim. You can't just snatch it away and dump it on someone else on another whim! That's not how...' Squall hesitated and then continued, as if correcting his initial thought, 'to do things.'

'That's not how a leader behaves, you mean,' the other man said with a wry smile. 'And you're right. But I don't think you can hold both positions at the same time.'

'Maybe you're right. My first duty _is_ as a Knight but it isn't my _only_ duty. Everyone here is Rinoa's friend - that's one loyalty but not their only one. Until we all know more about what's happening in the Ruins, we can't judge which loyalty or which duty should take priority. What if Quistis was right before and Rinoa needs our help to overcome some external force? How are we going to help her without Garden's resources to back us up?'

Cid shrugged, clearly out of answers. Squall, having talked more in the last few minutes than in the last few days shrugged, too.

'I'm going to pack,' he said and left the room.

By silent agreement, the others who were leaving the Lighthouse also trooped out of the room. Selphie entered her and Irvine's bedroom alone and stood staring at their luggage, still sitting unopened on their bed. It was only a few hours since they had arrived but it felt like a lifetime. Suddenly, she felt strong arms wrap around her from behind and warm breath on her cheek.

'It'll be alright, darlin', I promise it will.'

She turned to face her boyfriend. 'Will it?'

'Of course it will. Quistis is in charge. Nothing ever went wrong on her watch!'

'I suppose so...' Without warning, the pent-up emotions of the day welled up and spilled over. Irvine held her close as she sobbed uncontrollably against his shoulder. Eventually, all of her tears were spent but she did not lift her head. It just felt good to be held, to have her hair stroked, to not have to think - just for a little while.

They could not stay there forever, though, and she did not resist when he gently pulled away. 'We need to decide what we're taking with us,' he pointed out.

She nodded. 'I know.'

The cowboy's face plainly showed his concern. 'Selph, are you OK? You're normally the life and soul of everything. I don't know how to handle you being down.'

'I'm sorry... There's just such a lot to cope with. Seeing the new GF was bad enough, but Rinoa attacking Iris is just frightening. And you're going to face her! What if you're hurt, or... or worse?' she stopped, as much to prevent herself bursting into tears again as anything else.

'No-one knows what's going to happen, but if Seifer and I don't go with Squall, he'll definitely go alone. And that's just a disaster waiting to happen.'

'I know, I know!' She took a deep breath and continued, 'I just wish it was all over.'

'Me, too! Everyone would say the same, you know they would. We just have to take this one step at a time. What can I do that'll make you feel better?'

For a moment, just for a moment, she thought of asking him to run away with her, somewhere where they'd both be safe until this nightmare was over. Then her normal self regained control and she smiled at him. 'You make me feel better just by being here,' she told him, giving him a quick, fierce hug. 'Try to make Squall and Seifer behave, but don't get stuck between them if they do have a fight. That would be worse than facing two Tonberries!'

'Gotcha!' he grinned, tipping up his hat with one finger. He leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss. 'And you fly that little red monster carefully, OK? We need you and Quisty in one piece when you reach Balamb.'

'Will do!'

Reluctantly, they turned to their bags. Selphie decided it would be easier to just take hers as it was, rather than rummaging through it. Her boyfriend, however, would not need to take everything on his trip into the desert; he grabbed a few t-shirts and a spare pair of jeans.

'What about clean underwear?' she asked.

He rolled his eyes at her. 'This is a guy's camping trip! Guy's don't take clean underwear.'

'Matron will be with you.'

'Darn, she will, too. I'll take a couple of pairs, then.'

'You are _impossible_!' she said, laughingly.

'Made you laugh, though, right?' he commented, as he fished out all his underwear and even some socks.

She laughed even harder, feeling better than she had since they arrived. 'Come on then, you smelly cowpoke! We're probably keeping everyone waiting.'


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

_a/n 1 – apologies that it has taken so long to get this chapter written, but thank you for sticking with me!_

_a/n 2 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8, blah, blah_

_a/n 3 – I first had the idea for this chapter about a year ago – it's a relief to finally write it!_

_a/n 4 – I have the next 4 chapters plotted out – let's see how many I can write in a week :D_

Selphie scrambled into the Mini Ragnarok, feeling that thrill she always felt when she entered it. In some indefinable way it was 'home'. Quistis followed more slowly, her expression unreadable. If it did not seem such an impossible thing to suggest, her friend would have thought she was trying not to cry. She stowed both of their bags in the lockers at the back of the cockpit and both girls strapped in.

As she prepared for take-off, she glanced through the windscreen to where she could see their other friends trooping down to the White SeeD ship. Irvine stood out amongst them, as he was the tallest even when he was not wearing his hat, but the figure she would always see first whatever the circumstances. As if feeling her eyes upon him, he turned in their direction and gave a mock salute. A playful breeze chose that moment to snatch his hat from his head and he dropped his bag to run down the beach after it.

Inside the cockpit, both girls laughed out loud, not just at the cowboy racing down the beach with his ponytail streaming out behind him but at the reactions of the others. Squall simply continued stumping towards the gangplank, looking neither left nor right. Close behind him was Seifer, clearly chuckling but also, apparently, taking his job as Knight Protector seriously enough to stick with his morose charge. Matron was gazing anxiously after Irvine and Cid was calling to him to leave the bloody hat, he could always buy another one. Meanwhile, Zell and Iris stood and laughed as loudly as the girls.

A small bleep recalled Selphie's attention, informing her that the engines were fully primed and ready for take-off. Returning her boyfriend's salute, even though no-one on the beach would see it, she lifted the little flying machine into the air still ignorant as to whether cowboy and hat had been reunited. There was silence between the girls as Quistis let the pilot do her job of setting their course before switching on the auto-pilot.

'I am _starving_!' said the pilot, rubbing her stomach.

'No, you aren't,' came the auto-response from her companion. Her friend's inner Instructor never switched off and she rolled her eyes at the blonde. 'You may be very hungry, but you are long way from starving.'

'You know what I mean! Didn't Matron give you some of the left-over soup?'

Quistis relented. 'Yes, she did. And I wouldn't mind eating something myself. It seems a long time since lunch.'

The Mini Ragnarok was fully equipped for picnicking and Selphie quickly found bowls and spoons. After a bit of rummaging she also produced a bottle of red wine and a cake, with appropriate utensils.

'I like to keep her stocked up,' she stated, in response to her friend's quizzical eyebrow. She poured out the soup from the flask she had found in Quistis' bag and then settled back in her seat.

As they ate, they talked over what they knew about GFs and their effect on the human memory.

'What I don't understand,' said Quistis, taking a sip of wine, 'is why they affect some types of memories and not others. That's really the basis of my research.'

'Haven't they told you anything, themselves? The ones you have in the lab, I mean?'

'They're tricky buggers to work with. Getting a straight answer out of Ifrit is worse than getting Squall to give a speech! Shiva responds best but... Well, I've just put it down to it still being early days.'

Something in her tone made Selphie look at her sharply. 'Put what down to it being early days?'

'Oh, it's probably my imagination.'

'Quisty, you're my friend and I love you. But the idea of you letting your imagination get the better of you is ridiculous.'

The other girl gave a wry chuckle. 'I suppose it is, isn't it?'

'Yes. So, what is it that's bothering you?'

Quistis suddenly became very interested in scraping the last drops of soup from her bowl.

'Quisty... If you don't tell me _right now_ I'll make you do the washing up!'

'You know, Selph, that isn't really much of a threat...'

'The washing up is just the start, Trepe. I can come up with much worse than that. Ask Irvy.'

'OK, OK, I give in! The thing that bothers me is... Well, it's as if the GFs are hiding something.'

'Hiding something? What sort of something?'

'If I knew that, they wouldn't be hiding it, would they?'

Selphie rolled her eyes. 'You know what I mean! Hyne! It's you that isn't giving any straight answers.'

'I'm sorry. I'll try to explain it a bit better. It's as if they're afraid to tell me.'

'Afraid? What would scare a GF?!'

'Not that kind of afraid. More like a Junior Classman who's been caught out after curfew. You know... kinda shifty.'

'Quisty, that hasn't made it any clearer to me.'

'I know... I'm sorry...'

'OK, enough of this depressing stuff. I've got something that'll cheer you _right_ up.'

Selphie bounced out of her chair, took Quistis' dirty bowl and spoon and placed them with her own in the tiny sink at the back of the cockpit. She refilled both their glasses and cut generous slices of cake, serving her friend and placing her own on the floor by her seat for a moment. Then she sat down and clicked a few buttons.

'Watch _that_!' she said with a grin, pointing at the viewing screen on her dashboard. She watched her friend's face closely for her reaction.

'Oh, it's the FH concert! There's Zell on the guitar. He's sooo good with that, now. He's even writing...'

'Keep watching! You'll miss it!'

'I'm watching, I'm watching! OK, me on the flute. Never again! And you on the violin... And Irvine... Oh, Selphie! Irvine... tapdancing...'

Both girls dissolved into giggles at the sight of the cowboy dancing his heart out, his duster coat billowing out behind him. The clip ended but Selphie replayed it a couple of times so that they could enjoy the finer points of her boyfriend's performance.

When she could speak again, Quistis asked, 'Where and how did you get hold of that?'

'I won it off Flo in a game of Triple Triad!'

'Well, that certainly has cheered me up. There's just one thing I need you to promise me...'

'Anything!'

'Never, never show that to Seifer. He'd never let Irvine live it down!'

'Well, I wasn't exactly planning on showing it to... him...'

'He has got a name! Sorry, I didn't mean to snap... But really, Selph... he _is_ my boyfriend you know? Doesn't that count for _anything_?'

'Of course it does! And I am finding it easier to be around him. Hey, why don't you tell me about how you got together?'

'It's a bit of a long story...'

'Well, I'm not going anywhere!'

_a/n – I'm feeling a bit guilty about laughing at Irvine so much, but he can take it! If you want to know about the early part of Quistis and Seifer's romance, please read 'Surprise meeting in Deling' and 'Anticipation' in my fanfic list. I will pick up the thread at the start of the next chapter._

_Thanks for reading – please let me know what you thought of it!_


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

_a/n 1 – another day, another chapter! Go me!!! (let's see how long I can keep this up...)_

_a/n 2 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8, blah, blah_

_a/n 3 – thanks to Eden Gray and mariagoner for early reviews; I'm trying to include answers to as many of your thought-provoking questions as possible_

The inside of the Mini Ragnarok's cockpit was dark and almost silent. Quistis swung gently in a hammock suspended from the ceiling and slept, apparently, as soundly as if she was in her own bed. Satisfied that she would not disturb her friend, Selphie logged into her IM service and was pleased to find that Irvine was logged in, too.

'_Hiya, Babe_!' he said, his voice echoing round the cockpit .

She put a finger to her lips and typed, 'Type only! Q's asleep!'

'How come she gets to sleep?'

'1 – I'm the pilot, remember? 2 – she needs to be alert when we get to Balamb but I can crash.'

'Ah, OK, then. How's your day been?'

'Oh, you know, girly stuff! I... I asked Q about Seifer...'

'Good girl! Did you ask her outright? I know you've been finding the idea of him being part of the gang again easier to deal with, lately.'

'His name kind of came up in conversation.' She had not yet quite got round to telling Irvine about the video clip, nor how amusing she found it. Somehow this did not seem like the right moment.

'OK. What did she tell you?'

'Apparently they had a one night stand in Deling. When Q was on sabbatical, remember? I'd never have thought she would do that...'

The cowboy grinned at her. 'Even ice-queens have needs, Selph!'

She pulled an exaggerated pout. 'Don't call her that!'

'It was a joke, you know it was. OK, so then what?'

'He stayed all night.'

'So? Why wouldn't he?'

'Because this is Seifer we're talking about. Fickle, footloose, can't commit...' She stopped typing when her boyfriend held up a warning finger.

'I think the evidence shows he's none of those things.'

'Even Q was surprised. She told me so.'

'So, you were both wrong.'

She scowled at him. 'Whose side are you on, here?'

'The side of Truth, Justice and... the Esthar Way!' He chuckled behind his hand.

'Is everyone with you?' she asked, struck by the way he seemed to be trying to keep quiet at his end, too.

'They're all asleep. We got here about sunset. Squall wanted to head off right away but we managed to stop him. Hyne alone knows what you'd find in the Ruins at night!'

She peered at the screen, trying to work out what was in the background. 'But you're not on the ship?'

'No. We unloaded our gear and decided to camp just above the beach. I took first watch, hoping you'd call.'

He smiled at her, that gentle, loving smile that was just for her. She felt a lump at the back of her throat. To distract herself from how much she wanted to be curled up with him somewhere safe and away from the madness that pressed on all sides, she forced herself to keep to practicalities.

'Where are you, exactly?'

'Yorn Beach, just North of the Yorn Mountains and a few klicks West of the Ruins.'

She nodded, remembering the place. 'You're not keeping much of a watch, though, are you?'

'I'm watching you, Babe. Can't think of anything more important.'

'Irvy, be sensible! I mean, that's very sweet...'

He chuckled silently, again. 'I'm on one side of the camp and there's a White SeeD on the other. They're not just relying on me. And I am keeping an eye out.' He turned away from the screen and scanned his surroundings. 'See?'

'Well, I suppose I should let you go...'

'You haven't finished the Tale of Romance that is Q & S, yet!'

'Oh, yeah! So, after a night (and morning) to remember in Deling Hotel...'

'Morning, too? Don't judge all us poor boys by Almasy's standards!'

'I wouldn't dream of it! Anyway, they were kind of off and on for a bit, I think. Q wanted to keep things low key – for obvious reasons – so she couldn't invite him to Balamb. And they were both busy with work, so it was hard for them to meet, anyway.'

'Seifer's business has really taken off, you know? He even... he asked me to work for him...'

'You turned him down?'

'Not exactly. Don't look like that, Babe! He's offering a great wage. But...'

'Money isn't everything?'

'No, it isn't. It would take me further away from you, for a start.'

'You type the sweetest things, you old flatterer, you.'

'S'why you love me, Darlin'!'

'Ah, I knew there had to be an explanation. So, back to Q & S...'

'Get on with it! The suspense is killing me!'

'Q just booked some leave and went down to see him.'

'On a whim?!'

'Well, not quite. This is still Quistis, you know! It was all planned but at least it was her standing up for what she wanted. Standing up to Garden AND Seifer.'

'And the outcome was them being Couple of the Year!'

'Don't get carried away! But, yeah, they decided to be a couple, at least. Visit each other, go away for the weekend together, that kind of thing.'

'When did you first find out?'

'We had a girl's night in. Facepacks, curlers, soppy films, popcorn...'

'I get the picture!'

'We asked Iris over to get to know her a bit, knowing that Zell was bringing her on the trip to the Orphanage. And in the middle of 'When Betty met Bill' Quistis just blurted out that she would be bringing someone, too!'

The cowboy laughed for a long time until she was thoroughly annoyed with him. 'I bet that went down well,' he typed at last. He knew how much she loved that film. The idea of it being interrupted by Quistis' news clearly amused him.

'Well, when she said "someone" we were excited. I even paused the film! Not a word, Cowboy! But when she said who the someone was...'

'You weren't so pleased.'

'No. It threw a cloud over the whole thing, for me. And we were staying in Q's dorm. I couldn't just up and leave...'

'Must have been tough.'

'Yeah. But I've been thinking about it. They kind of go together, you know?'

'I know.'

'Oh, you're a bloke. What do you know about people and emotions?'

'Sexist!'

She grinned at him. 'And?'

'And you're making assumptions. OK, so Seifer hasn't exactly opened his heart to me about his feelings for Quisty. And you're right to an extent – blokes don't really go in for that. Doesn't mean I can't see what's in front of me. He adores her.'

'You're right, on both counts. She tried to tell me what I've been missing about him. Just the fact that she had something to tell me told me that I've been misjudging him.'

'What did she say?'

'Well, there's his romanticism for a start. Not candlelit dinners and roses – 'though he can go in for that – but his dream of being a Knight. She said she understood his frustration at aiming for the top and never quite reaching it.'

'She would understand that. Of course, the difference is that Quistis aims for the top and works too hard, whereas Seifer just wants it on a plate.'

'I think he's finding a work ethic,' she replied, surprising herself by admitting so much about her former enemy.

'Oh, yeah. And he found it before he hooked up with Q, so it really is all his own.'

'Definitely.'

Irvine turned suddenly away from the screen, a small frown between his brows.

'Everything OK?' she typed, and waited a few moments for him to turn back to her.

'Er, yeah, I think so.'

'You think so?'

'Well, if I didn't know better, I'd have thought I just saw a Tonberry shuffling away as fast as it's stumpy legs would carry it.'

'A Tonberry? Out there?!'

'Exactly. It's impossible.'

'Did you see its lantern.'

'That's just it. If it was a Tonberry, it was travelling in the dark without its lantern being lit.'

'You must be imagining things, then. They never go anywhere without their lanterns.'

'I know, I know.' He turned away again, this time to talk to someone behind him. 'Time to go, Babe. My relief just turned up.'

'OK, sleep well, Dearest.'

'Night, Babe.'

_a/n – '...and so Irvy's off to bed, perchance to dream...' or something like that. Hope the IM thing made sense. I know it's RL tech, again, but I want to get on with the story, not invent technological wheels :D If I ever go back and rewrite this, I'll give it some proper thought._


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_a/n 1 – well, I've hit my target of 3 chapters for the week! Hopefully, I'll work on the next one next week_

_a/n 2 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8, blah, blah_

Selphie awoke late in the morning in a wholly unfamiliar room that had enough familiar features to give her a sense of disorientation. The decor was Garden standard but the room was on a larger scale than her own at Trabia. The bed and window were in the right relationship to each other but the door was completely wrong.

The thought occurred to her that at least she was decently dressed, this time, and then everything came flooding back. The flight through the night, landing the Mini Ragnarok in an open field in the dark, the scramble through mud and grassy tussocks to the safety of the road, the arrival in Balamb Garden. Xu had met them at the entrance and had a hurried conversation with Quistis. Selphie had been too tired to attempt to follow it and had been grateful to be led to a guest room where she had changed into her pyjamas and sunk into sleep.

Now, however, she was wide awake and hungry. She dug her Sonic Monkey showergel out of her bag and headed for the shower. Five minutes later, she emerged smelling of chocolate, coffee and orange and feeling hungrier than ever. After throwing on the first clothes she found – jeans and a bright green t-shirt – she headed for the cafeteria. There she met Quistis who was taking a break from talking to the GFs and they went in together.

'"Waaarrrkkk!!!"?' asked her friend, quoting the cheery chocobo printed on the front of her t-shirt.

'What's wrong with "Waaarrkkk!!!"?'

'Nothing if you're a chocobo. What does it mean?'

'Why does it have to mean anything?'

The blonde girl opened her mouth and then closed it, again. 'You know what, I don't care,' she said, rubbing her face with both hands. 'I've had enough of riddles for this morning. I came here because coffee and pancakes always make sense!'

'Tough time with the GFs?'

'Like you wouldn't believe. But let's not talk in public.'

As it turned out, however, the cafeteria was deserted. They loaded their trays with food and coffee and then found a table at the back. When they were settled, Selphie asked her friend to explain her previous comment.

Quistis swallowed her mouthful of pancake and fresh strawberry and took a sip of coffee, clearly organising her thoughts before she spoke. 'I've been with Shiva,' she said at last. 'I thought she'd be the easiest!' She gave a short laugh. 'I asked her about the Ruins first, but she said she knew nothing about them. Then I asked about Jewel – how a new GF could just appear like that. She said that there are no new GFs; that all the GFs have always been.'

'Always been? They've existed forever?'

'I... I think so. That's as much sense as I could make of it, anyway. I mean, I didn't imagine they were born like we are. You know, boy GF meets girl GF and they love each other very much!' She went off into slightly edgy giggles, making her friend look at her with concern.

Catching her eye, Qustis fell silent, turning her attention to her plate to cover her embarrassment. 'Sorry about that. Sometimes, I worry that all this will make me as crazy as them.'

Selphie gave her hand a quick squeeze. 'This whole situation is enough to drive us all crazy.'

'Yeah, I suppose it is. I still can't make sense of...' She glanced around the empty cafeteria and lowered her voice, even though there was no-one to hear her. 'Of what happened at the lighthouse. I thought it would help to talk to them but...' She spread her hands wide in a gesture of defeat.

'Did you ask Shiva about the memories they take?'

'Yes. And, actually, I think I made some progress, there. She said that our memories give them energy but only some of them. The ones they can use.'

'Such as...?'

'Such as how to fight, what we know about the current mission, that kind of thing. Memories of other things – childhood for example – are of no use. In fact, they can distract us from the task in hand, so the GFs...'

Leaning across the table, Selphie gazed anxiously into her friend's face. 'What? What do they do with them?'

Quistis gave a sudden grin, smoothing out the lines of care and worry that marred her expression. 'They suppress them, that's all. We were all able to remember the orphanage once Irvine started talking about it, so the memories were still there. Those memories were no use to the GFs so they... packed them away, locked them up, however you want to describe it. But they weren't destroyed or, ultimately damaged. We just had to remember they were missing and rediscover them.

'As a GF learns new abilities, it _growls_ so to speak. At least, it takes up more room in the brain, so it shoves more memories aside. If you change to a GF with fewer abilities, it just settles in to the space made by the previous one. You don't regain the memories unless something else jogs your memory. And, of course, we all Junctioned several GFs at once...'

'And the long-term effects?'

'Too early to say. There's still a lot of work to do in that area. But I'm going to leave that side of things for now. It's time to tackle Odin and TK. Want to meet them?'

Selphie felt as if a cold hand had closed over her heart. As if from far away, she heard her friend say, 'You don't have to if you'd rather not. I just thought...'

'I'll come. I have to face this... whatever it is.'

'OK, if you're sure? You can leave...'

'It's fine, really. Let's just get on with it!'

They returned their trays to the serving counter and then headed to Quistis' lab, which was located in the Basement that NORG had occupied. Selphie expressed her surprise, hoping that her voice did not also betray her growing anxiety.

'It's the only space in Garden that's big enough,' her friend explained. 'It saved us having to build something new or squeeze into somewhere smaller. You'll see what I mean when we get down there. And, here we are!'

The door of the lift slid open and Selphie caught her breath. NORG's pod or capsule or whatever it was had completely disappeared. In its place stood a pair of wooden frames on wheels that each supported what looked like a pane of glass. Two technicians were adjusting the distance between the panes whilst a third was setting the controls of a machine some distance away.

'All ready?' asked Quistis, as she approached.

The technician at the machine nodded. 'Just about,' she replied. 'We've set it up for Odin. Is that OK, Quistis?'

'That's fine. I don't suppose it really matters. I just get the feeling he'll actually know something whereas TK will just fiddle with his lamp. By the way, this is my friend, SeeD Selphie Tilmitt. She brought me here last night. Or rather early this morning.'

She proceeded to introduce the technicians but Selphie was not listening. Something was nudging the back of her mind, something about tonberries.

'Quis, what would frighten a tonberry?'

'Frighten a tonberry? Is this one of your stupid jokes, because if it is...'

'No! No, it isn't a joke. It was something Irvine said last night. He said he thought he'd seen a tonberry running away from the Ruins.'

'He only thought he'd seen one?'

'Yeah. But it would be odd, wouldn't it? I've never known anything scare those things!'

'OK, we'll bear it in mind and ask TK, later. Let's speak to Odin, first, OK?'

Selphie nodded and Quistis turned to the girl by the machine. 'OK, let's give him a call!'

_a/n – well, I didn't get as far as I planned, so we'll have to save the interviews with Odin and TK for the next chapter. Hopefully, it'll be done soon!_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

_a/n 1 – I'm aiming for a chapter a week over the summer. Wish me luck!_

_a/n 2 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8, blah, blah_

Quistis held up her hand and the technician paused, her hand hovering over a button on the machine.

'Selph – would you like a quick explanation of what all this equipment is? Yes? OK. We refer to the machine there as a 'Summon Machine'. The dial at the top can be set to any of the GFs we encountered during the war with Ultimecia – effectively, it Junctions the GF to the machine. The two wooden frames are supporting sheets of GF Crystal, which is much more effective than the little bundles of chips we were using originally. The button in the middle is the Summon button – press that and the GF the dial is pointing to will appear between the frames.

'Does all that make sense? OK – carry on, please!'

The technician nodded and then pressed the Summon button. Selphie felt the familiar nerve-tingling sensation of a Summon even though the action was being performed by a machine rather than a person. She found that she was holding her breath, and let it out as quietly as she could. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, desperately trying to find a way out. Part of her wanted to turn around and leave that room immediately but she forced herself to remain where she was. The more they knew about the Ruins, the better the chances for the other team who were, even now, moving towards the strange tower. Two people would absorb and understand the information differently, so it was important that she stayed.

Between the frames, rain began to fall from invisible clouds creating a spreading pool of water on the lab floor. From nowhere, a hoof appeared and was planted firmly in the middle of the puddle. Then the whole of Odin's six-legged horse stepped out of thin air. Odin himself sat astride the beast, peering from under his horned helmet. A shiver ran down Selphie's spine. There was something dark and mysterious about all the GFs but Odin, with his black armour and mutated horse, seemed to represent that strangeness even more obviously.

He turned his dark eyes on Quistis who licked her lips nervously. 'You have Summoned me,' he said. His voice seemed to come from the air all around them and the floor beneath their feet and from inside their heads.

'Yes. We have questions that require answers.'

'I will answer. If I can.'

'Our questions concern the Centra Ruins. You once dwelt there. What can you tell us about them?'

'The Ruins are ancient but they were built on a site more ancient still.'

'Why were they built? What purpose did they serve?'

'They were built to honour and placate. They were invaded.'

Quistis took a deep breath and let it out slowly, clearly trying to overcome her frustration. 'Odin, I must ask you to speak more clearly. One of our friends may be in danger and we don't have much time. Is there something in the Ruins that would attract Sorceresses?'

'All power attracts Sorceresses.'

'There is a power source there? We know that about 1% of the bricks are GF Crystal which is why you and Tonberry King were able to appear to us without being Junctioned.'

'The Crystals attract us... the beings you refer to as "GFs",' here his normally even tone was laced with sarcasm. 'We are powerful. Sorceresses are attracted to power.'

'We have discovered a... a new GF. Please, forgive the term; we can argue about political correctness another time. Our friend has taken this GF to the Ruins but we don't know what she hopes to achieve. Could this be the reason? That the GF can appear there as you did?'

'I can offer no guidance concerning the whims of Sorceresses.'

Closing her eyes, the blonde girl seemed to be praying for strength. 'As far as you know, Odin, are the Crystals the only source of power in the Ruins?'

'The Ruins are ancient but they were built on a site more ancient still.'

'So you said, before!' she snapped.

The GF's expression never changed but somehow his eyes seemed to glitter a little less coldly. 'You are angry. Anger can be useful but it must be channelled carefully. Do you love this friend who has gone to the Ruins?'

'Yes,' replied Quistis, almost in a whisper.

'Then you must channel your anger towards helping her. The Ruins are built on a site older than the moon but what lies beneath them I do not know.'

'So, we must discover what it is for ourselves. Thank you...'

Odin interrupted; 'One more thing I will tell you. Use your anger but be guided by your love. Your heart will see through all veils.'

'Thank you, Odin. I don't really understand your words but we will remember them.'

Raising his sword in salute, the strange knight urged his horse backwards and vanished.

There was a collective sigh of relief around the lab. Selphie found that her mouth had gone dry. She turned to her friend and asked, 'What in Hyne's name was he talking about?'

'I have no idea. Perhaps it will make some kind of sense to Edea. OK, let's do TK and then we can call it a day.'

The girl by the machine adjusted the dial and then pressed the button. A dark circle appeared between the Crystal sheets that suddenly rippled as if were a pool of water. Tonberry King climbed out unhurriedly and stood mutely in front of them, dim lantern in one hand and fierce blade in the other.

'TK could you tell us what could possibly frighten a tonberry?'

The green GF lowered his head and Selphie began to fear that he would not answer. She stole a glance at the other girl and saw the lines of fatigue and anxiety on her face. What kind of life were they living that they spent their days like this instead of having fun like everyone else their age?

'Write this down,' Quistis ordered. TK had begun moving his knife across the light that spilled from his lantern in an uneven rhythm. Suddenly, Selphie realised he was using Morse code.

The technician who was recording the output shouted out the letters as they were signalled. 'S...O...R...C...E...R...E...S...S...'

_a/n – I looked up Odin on Wikipedia and it said his horse had 8 legs and was called Sleipnir. However, the YouTube videos of Odin being Summoned in FF8 show a horse with 6 legs. I've gone with the FF8 version in my FF8 fanfic but I thought I'd share this random info with you :D_


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

_a/n 1 – so, work got in the way of a chapter per week but I'm took advantage of the Bank Holiday weekend to get half of this one written and then found some spare time this weekend to finish it_

_a/n 2 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locateons of FF8, blah, blah_

_a/n 3 – I will get some action into the next chapter, promise!_

'He told us something else, too...' Quistis paused and suddenly became very interested in a bit of fluff on her skirt.

'Go on, Dear,' said Edea, gently.

Selphie and Quistis were sitting in the latter's office in front of her large conference screen with a fairly modern digital video camera trained on them. On the screen, their friends were grouped tightly together with Edea and Squall on the front row and the others behind. The tiny webcam built into Squall's state-of-the-art laptop was doing a pretty good job of fitting the whole group in but the top of Irvine's cowboy hat was cut off.

Their initial greetings had been fairly muted. As excited as Selphie was by seeing her boyfriend, the sight of the Commander looking so haggard and drawn had reminded her that the group was incomplete. She suspected he had not had much sleep.

The group on Centra had shared their news first. They had travelled about half of the distance between Yorn Beach and the Ruins and were making good time. Squall had wanted to drive on through the night but the others insisted on getting some proper rest. If all went to plan, they would reach the Ruins the next evening and actually enter them early the following morning. They had shown the girls in Balamb a video they had taken on the way.

Centra's desert landscape had been transformed into a meadow in full bloom. Delicate flowers waved amongst grass stalks and they could hear the breeze rustling through the foliage. It should have lifted their hearts to see such life come to the harsh dust and stone of Centra but instead Selphie felt goosebumps appear on her arms. Everything was a deadly white, like bleached bones or the surface of the moon. A distant Tonberry stood out clearly against the whiteness as it shuffled along. It was a straggler, they said; all day long they had passed long lines of them hurrying away from the Ruins. There was also no scent coming from the flowers, they said.

No-one had any explanation for the appearance of white grass and flowers in the midst of Centra, except that it could not be natural. The similarity to the meadow outside the orphanage was not lost on any of them. In Squall's presence, nobody stated that they thought Rinoa was somehow responsible but it was impossible to ignore this as the likeliest explanation. It was also a sensible one. The Sorceress was no doubt in some form of distress, whether or not she had gone willingly to the Ruins. The flower field where she and Squall had found each other after Time Compression would have to offer comfort and might also encourage him to come to her. The real problem to Selphie's mind was the lack of colour. Why should Rinoa create this deathly landscape?

'He said we should ask you about Hubal,' Quistis said, at last, breaking through Selphie's reverie.

Edea frowned. 'Hubal? I don't really see... Still, if we ask the GFs for information, we should listen to what they tell us, I suppose! OK, this is what I know about Hubal.

'Legend states that he is the creator of the moon. He is represented by a huge white bull – the crescent moon reflects the shape of his horns. It is easy to see how bulls and the moon become linked. The Lunar Cry is said to be caused by his bellows of anger. And well... that's all I know, I'm afraid.'

'Hubal is the first child of Hyne,' said Cid. He spoke slowly, almost reluctantly, Selphie thought.

Everyone turned to him. When he offered no further comment, Quistis asked the question everyone was thinking. 'What does that mean?'

The former headmaster shrugged. 'It's an old memory – probably from my childhood. I think I read it; I can see it printed across my mind, if you see what I mean. That's all I remember, though.'

'Hyne created people, didn't he?' asked Irvine. 'And then fought a battle with humans, after which he gave them magic.'

'That's right,' Quistis agreed. 'But humans need GFs in order to use magic. Did Hyne create them, too?'

'Don't remember any mention of that in History.'

'And don't forget that Hyne did not give _all_ of his magic to humans in general,' Edea said, gently. 'He was able to "hide" in women – possess them, I suppose – thus creating the first Sorceress. This is why Sorceresses are called descendents of Hyne.'

'Yes – and Sorceresses don't need to be Junctioned in order to use magic,' mused Quistis.

Matron nodded and then looked over her shoulder at her husband. 'My Dear – is there any chance that the book where you read that snippet of information is amongst your things at the lighthouse? There are all sorts of documents and dusty tomes in some of those boxes. We've never really gone through them, properly.'

'I suppose it could be. I sold most of the contents of my parents' house but there were some things I wanted to keep or couldn't sell. But how are we going to find it from here? Even supposing I've still got it! We can't go back and I don't want to split the group.'

'Why not ask Zell and Iris, Dear? It will give them something to do rather than twiddling their thumbs waiting to hear some news from us. By the way, have you girls spoken to them? I confess that we have had no spare time, so far.

Selphie felt a wave of guilt and glancing sidelong at her friend, she knew she felt the same. They too had been far too wrapped up in events to think of the pair they had left behind. Of course, they were in comparative safety but that would not lessen their anxiety for their friends.

She was relieved when Quistis made this confession for them both. 'I feel awful contacting them, now, just to ask them to do something for us,' she continued.

'It cannot be helped,' said Edea, 'and I am sure they will understand.'

The two girls took on the job of contacting Zell. It was now getting late and the party in Centra needed to sleep. Cid could tell them very little about the type of book the tale might be in. It was certainly printed rather than hand-written and he thought the text was in an usual font. More than that he could not say.

They all bade each other a good night and Quistis cut the connection. She then called Zell who answered on the second ring.

'Yo!' he grinned. Iris appeared from somewhere behind him and then settled onto the couch next to him. She smiled shyly and gave a little wave.

Selphie felt her heart actually grow lighter at the sight of them. Somehow, they represented safety, a home to return to when the madness was over.

'Um... sorry we haven't been in touch...' Quistis began, awkwardly.

The martial artist waved aside her apology. 'Hey, I remember what it's like when you're saving the world,' he said. 'No time to eat or sleep, let alone checking in with the folks back home.'

'That's still no excuse. After what Iris has been through...'

'I'm feeling much better, really! We just assumed no news was good news and you'd contact us when you had something to tell us.'

'Well, we do have something. Actually, it's a request rather than information as such.' Briefly, she explained what they had learned so far, and the task they needed the young couple to perform. Zell, ever the SeeD, had his notebook to hand and scribbled a few notes as Quistis talked. He asked a few pertinent questions and then gave his trademark grin.

'Alright! Gives us something to do other than worry about you lot. We'll get on with hunting through Cid's book collection first thing in the morning and let you know when... if... we find anything.'

'Thanks, Zell. Iris – take care of yourself, OK? Sleep well, both of you.'

'Night!' the others chorused and she cut the connection. She stretched both arms over her head and then gave a huge yawn.

'You look like you've gone three rounds with Ifrit!' giggled Selphie.

'You don't look too fresh yourself,' came the sardonic reply.

'OK, stop that! You're even starting to _sound_ like Seifer!'

The other girl gave a genuine laugh. 'Hyne forbid! I think that is definitely my cue for bed.'

_a/n – OK, now that you've read to the end of the chapter, please, PLEASE, __PLEASE__ take a few minutes to write a review. It doesn't have to be very long, just something!_


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

_a/n 1 – as promised, some action! (also, Selphie getting hot and sweaty ;) )_

_a/n 2 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locateons of FF8, blah, blah _

_a/n 3 – a big thank-you to Jason and John for R&R_

Selphie took a second to wipe the sweat out of her eyes with the back of her wrist. She reopened them just in time to duck as the Grat lashed out with its arm. Or branch. Or tentacle. Or _whatever_ it was. Unfortunately, it had four such appendages and she did not notice the one curling around her ankles until it had pulled her off her feet. She landed on her rear with a rather unladylike curse, saw the Grat about to attack again and barely raised her arm in time to block.

As the enemy gathered itself for another attack, she rolled onto all fours momentarily leaving her back exposed. In one movement, she stood and spun on the ball of her foot, holding Strange Vision at arm's length to give maximum reach. The nunchucks caught the Grat with a glancing blow on the side of what counted as its head and it slowly collapsed like a deflating balloon.

She heard the sound of another Grat shuffling through the undergrowth of the Training Centre and flung herself into some bushes to give herself chance to catch her breath. She was on her own and, therefore, more vulnerable. Quistis had gone to the lab straight after breakfast to ask Odin about Hubal and where they might find further information about him. Selphie had felt stiff and sluggish and decided that a few rounds with the fauna – and walking flora – of the TC would help sweep away some cobwebs. Her raised heartbeat and the scratches and bruises on her arms told her that the plan was working.

She peeped through the bushes and saw another Grat coming towards her. With a blood-curdling yell, she leaped out to meet it and managed to land the first blow. It reacted instantly, however, and began casting a Sleep spell. It was grossly unfair, she thought, that this bag of semi-conscious vegetation should be able to use magic. She braced herself for the onset of unconsciousness but it never came. The familiar skin-prickling sensation of magic washed over her and away. She raised a hand to the headband she was wearing. Apparently, Odine's new invention was working.

With the borrowed abilities of the GFs unavailable to people who still had to face creatures that could use magic, the scientist had turned his massive brain to developing accessories that would counter some of the more irritating spells. So far, there was the Twist Headband that nullified Sleep and Silver Glasses that made Blind ineffective. He had also been working on accessories that enhanced strength and Selphie was wearing a prototype Muscle Belt.

Her hesitation gave the monster chance to land a couple of blows that caught her off balance. She rolled with the fall and the Grat flailed ineffectively over her head. Staying in a crouch, she rushed it, wrapping her arms as far around its bulbous body as they would go. There was a sound of snapping vegetation and something green and sticky oozed over her. Her enemy lay still and limp in her arms and she flung it aside.

Rather than wait for the next battle she decided to go in search of it, creeping almost silently through the bushes and shrubs. Through a gap in the surrounding leaves, she caught sight of a Raldo rolling its way ponderously along one of the paths. She crept nearer and then burst out of the bushes, crashing into the creature side-on and knocking it onto its back. Its shell was harder than she remembered and the impact left her winded. She staggered back a pace or two, clutching her left shoulder and breathing heavily. For a moment she was even worried that she had broken her arm but the initial stabbing pain soon eased to a dull ache. A few experimental swings with the arm convinced her that it still worked reasonably well.

In the meantime, the monster righted itself and charged right at her. She managed to sidestep it and it lumbered into a large rock behind her. A crack appeared in the rock, which was taller than she was. As the Raldo turned back to her, she saw a similar crack in the armour above its eyes and a thick, dark red liquid flowed sluggishly from the wound. It swung its head from side to side, whimpering with pain and confusion. She thrust her left hand into her pocket, exclaiming at the fresh wave of agony, and flung what she found there. The Death Stone hit at the same point as the injury. The killing was a mercy but the fact that it was instant, without the creature being able to defend itself, somehow felt wrong.

She moved on, keeping to the cover of the undergrowth as much as possible. Through the leaves of one bush she saw a Blobra lurching past. She decided against attacking it. Without magic, the fight would be a long one and her Shell Stones were all in her backpack meaning she would be vulnerable to its magic. Holding her breath, she turned as quietly as she could in order to head off in another direction. A second Blobra was waiting right behind her. It thrust out part of its blue, viscous body, giving her a blow that lifted her off her feet. She landed on her left arm and screamed. Before she could move, the monster cast a Water spell that left her drenched and gasping for breath.

As it prepared to attack again, she rolled onto her stomach and crawled off the path and under cover using her good arm and both legs. Another Water spell followed her but only caught her feet. She reached a tree and lay with her back against it, her head spinning with pain and exhaustion. Through a haze of half-delirium, her gaze fell on her weapon and she was instantly assailed by a memory as bright and sharp as a steel blade.

'This is for you, Selph,' said Squall, placing the bright red nunchucks into her hands. She looked down at the beautifully crafted weapon in disbelief, knowing that she would never want another. Her fingers closed around the handles of their own accord. 'Thank you,' she whispered.

They were in Esthar's junk shop making their final preparations for the assault on Ultimecia's castle. Weapons of all kinds hung on the walls and they had all spent time exclaiming over them. But now things were getting serious and Selphie just wanted to get this over with. She could tell that they all felt the same.

Before they had left the Presidential Palace, Squall had checked the distribution of GFs, making sure that everyone had a good spread of abilities and magic. He had chosen his final team but wanted the others as backup. With these checks made, he had taken them to the junk shop where he pulled a bag out of his backpack. He tipped out the contents; they were all the items needed to create the top-of-the-range weapons they had all been drooling over in Weapons Monthly. He had been quietly collecting and tucking them away. Although it made sound military sense to have them all armed as well as possible, this gesture of distributing the weapons while they were all together was a touching one.

The image faded, leaving her lying in a small clearing in the depths of the Training Centre, aching from head to foot. Her camouflage-patterned jacket and pants were torn and stained, and she seemed to have lost a boot. She shrugged off her backpack and quickly drank a couple of potions, making a mental note to keep a couple in her pockets in future. Fighting as a team meant that one person could be in charge of healing, taking potions, remedies, etc out of a bag as required. Single combat afforded no such luxuries.

With some strength restored, she stood and located the intercom on the tree. She pressed the communication button and said, 'Hi! This is SeeD Tilmett.'

'Go ahead, SeeD Tilmett,' came the reply, the Training Centre's on-duty manager sounding faint and far away.

'I've had enough for today. I need a shower!'

'OK, we'll round up the remaining monsters. We've been following your progress; looks like you had fun out there!'

She grinned. 'You bet I did!'


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

_a/n 1 – on with the story, now! Well, sort of..._

_a/n 2 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8, blah, blah_

_a/n 3 – my Beta-readers for the previous chapter both commented on the morality of the Training Centre, so I've included a discussion on that in this chapter. Is there _anything_ good about Garden?_

Selphie limped over to the Infirmary for a quick check up and some pain killers Dr Kadowaki declared that nothing was broken but warned that the bruises would be there for a few days. With Cure magic unavailable, injuries had to heal in the usual way. Potions could only do so much as they were stimulants, designed to provide energy not repair damaged bodies.

'Just take things gently for a few days, OK?' said the doctor and Selphie nodded in agreement.

After a quick shower and change of clothes, she headed over to Quistis' office. She found Xu already there and the three decided to go to the Canteen for lunch, which was heaving with hungry SeeDs, Cadets and Junior Classmen. As usual, the hotdogs were in high demand amongst the students and even some of the staff. Selphie and her friends settled for vegetable soup with crusty rolls and then looked around for an empty table.

'There!' yelled Selphie sprinting away from the others to where a group of students were just getting up. She gave a groan of agony as a particularly deep scratch on her leg reminded her of its presence but she kept going. A student coming from another direction tried to take advantage of her discomfort but with a surge of adrenaline-fueled determination she managed to get a corner of her tray on to the table first. She sank gratefully into one of the chairs alternately squealing with triumph and a pain, while the student slunk off to try elsewhere.

The other girls followed more sedately and sat down. 'I'm glad to see you've lost none of that competitive streak, Selph,' grinned Xu. 'In fact, the duty manager at the Training Centre was full of admiration for the way you handled yourself when I spoke to him earlier.'

'Oh, it was nothing much,' she replied modestly. 'Hey! When my arm's better we should all go in. See who takes out the most nasties.'

'I never use the Training Centre,' said Quistis, quietly.

Selphie looked at her in surprise. 'Never?'

'I should say, "I never fight against the monsters". I go in against other SeeDs, even Cadets.'

'But why, Quis? Sometimes, there's no better feeling than handing a Blobra it's sticky rear!'

'You have such a way with words. Well, one reason is that I find it's actually tougher tracking and fighting against humans. But the main reason is that I find it cruel to keep living creatures in cages just so that we can chop them into bits.'

Xu gave a heavy sigh. 'They're just monsters, Quis. They wouldn't give a second thought to taking chunks out of you if you wandered across Balamb Plains.'

'And don't we need to keep their numbers under control?' chipped in Selphie.

'Neither of those is a good enough reason for wonton cruelty,' Quistis stated firmly.

They tried other topics of conversation but nothing really worked and they went in different directions as soon as they had finished eating. Selphie wandered down to the Quad, found a bench overlooking Balamb and sat down. The sun lit up the little town and sparkled on the sea, making the whole scene look like a postcard. She had come here to complete her SeeD training and had also made some life-long friends.

It occurred to her that all of those friends had developed consciences about things that she had always taken for granted. Before Irvine's revelation (how long ago that seemed!), she had always assumed that Garden was always right in everything it did. Junior Classmen learning how to use weapons so that they were safe with their companions but deadly to monsters and, ultimately, the Sorceress. Taking advantage of the power of GFs to enhance battle skills. Fighting and killing monsters in a controlled environment to blow off a bit of steam as well as sharpen reflexes.

Now, it felt as if nothing was right. Her whole safe, certain, protected little world was eroding piece by piece. And the worst part was that she felt a fool for not questioning any of these assumptions herself when they seemed so glaringly obvious, now. The pain killers had worn off and the throbbing in her left arm made her think of Quistis. And made her certain that she was right about the Training Centre.

How many creatures had she killed that morning? She herself was hardly unscathed but she was never in real danger. The staff kept a close eye on things, ready to step in if need be. And she had deliberately chosen to fight creatures she felt sure she could beat. No T-Rexaurs had been released, after all!

Her thoughts were interrupted by a large drop of rain splashing on the top of her head and she became aware that the sun was now hidden behind a bank of dark clouds. She hurried inside and went straight to Quistis' offce. Once more she found Xu already there and was relieved to find the two friends chatting together.

'Glad you two have kissed and made up,' she grinned.

'It's an old argument that isn't worth losing a friend over,' replied Xu. 'But I actually came over to tell Quistis that I'm coming round to her way of thinking.'

The blonde SeeD raised an eyebrow. 'You did? What's happened to cool your bloodlust?'

'I've just come from the Training Centre. We have a Grat that's just seeded. You know how pretty they look with those seed pods hanging all over them. I had to sign the authorisation for it to be kept out of the Training Centre until the babies hatch. Well, it struck me; why shouldn't we still send it out there? It's still a monster, after all. I stood by the cage watching it carefully cleaning each pod with such an expression of...I don't know what to call it. "Love" sounds so sentimental...

'While I was there, they brought in an injured Raldo. A Cadet had slashed its belly but hadn't killed it – just left it lying there!' A look of disgust flickered over her face before she continued, 'I was speechless with anger. They may be monsters but they deserve some dignity. I questioned the Cadet about why she hadn't used a Death Stone; that's why we issue them, for Hyne's sake. She said she only had two and she wanted to make sure she had one for the T-Rexaur she had requested.

'There's so much wrong with the situation I don't know where to start. A Cadet fighting alone in the TC should never request a T-Rexaur, let alone have one released! And Death Stones are for mercy killings not..."cheating" I suppose you could call it. It's the cruelty of leaving the Raldo that makes me most angry, though. And I've been asking myself why that should be. The Cadet dismissed it as a mindless killer without feelings but I heard its cries before it was put down. She will be disciplined but I had to let myself cool down, first. The way I felt back there, I'd have expelled her on the spot.

'Quis, I'm sorry. I don't know why it's taken me so long to see this. But your campaign to remove monsters from all Garden Training Centres now has official sanction. I'm backing you all the way.'

'Woo hoo!' cried Selphie, bouncing up and down excitedly. 'I came over to tell you exactly the same thing. We can't fail now we're all together.'

Xu grinned at her. 'Glad to hear you're on our side, Selph. Don't get too carried away, though. There's a lot of ingrained opinions out there. It's not going to be easy.'

'And we have other matters to sort out, first,' commented Quistis.

Selphie felt her excitement ebb away and her words. The threat of opposition to the campaign brought out her stubborn streak and only made her more determined to go ahead with it until everyone gave in for the sake of getting her to shut up. Now, though, she was thinking of Irvine and what he was facing; and how helpless she felt stuck here in Balamb.

_a/n – bit of an abrupt ending, I know. The next chapter will definitely be story-orientated. Promise!_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

_a/n 1 – on with the story for real, this time._

_a/n 2 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8, blah, blah, blah _

_a/n 3 – I've adapted the Legend of Hyne that appears in FF8 and on-line – I hope you like it_

After Xu had left, Selphie perched on the corner of Quistis' desk, determined to be more upbeat. Her friend looked exhausted from the combination of work, worry and stress that she was facing. In such situations, it was Selphie's sacred duty to brighten her world in some way. Normally, she would have had a party organised by now but this situation demanded other tactics. She had to find something within the situation itself to provide positive energy.

'Have you heard from the Lighthouse Loveshack, yet?' she asked.

Quistis looked at her with confusion for a moment and then burst out laughing. 'Lighthouse Loveshack? Selphie, that's priceless. 'Though I doubt poor Iris has had much loving lately – Zell had her up at six o'clock this morning to start hunting. It's paid off, though, because they've already found something. Zell sent a scanned copy of the document over at lunchtime but I haven't had a chance to read it, yet. Let me print a couple of copies and we can read it together.'

Selphie held the printed page that Quistis handed her a little gingerly, as though the information it contained could somehow emerge from it as some physical terror. Giving herself a mental shake, she grasped the paper more firmly and looked at it carefully. The text was hand-written, in a firm, flowing hand. There was a slight blurring from the scan but she found that she could read it easily enough. This is what she read.

'The Legend of Hubal.

'Hubal was the first child of Hyne and the light of his father's eye. Hyne built a magnificent palace in the midst of the Centra Plains for his son that contained a hundred rooms. He surrounded it with pleasure gardens filled with every kind of tree and flower. Wild beasts roamed the gardens but caused no hurt to Hubal. And Hubal was very happy.

'But after a while, he became lonely. His father was often away and he wanted people to talk to. From the power of his own mind, he created the creatures known as Guardian Forces. He imagined them in every detail – the texture of their skin, the colour of their hair, their clothing, and so on. And then, with a great cry, he brought them forth. And he was very pleased with them.

'First, he formed Tonberry King but he could not speak. Next, he brought forth Diablos but they quarrelled and he confined him to a magic lamp. His third attempt resulted in Odin and his mighty steed. And they became firm friends.

'In the meantime, Hyne turned his attention to creating servants for himself and his son, and so he made human beings. He told Hubal to select those whom he wanted and he chose five, including the most beautiful woman that Hyne had created.

'Now the sun became dark in Hyne's eyes for he also desired this woman. When he saw that the woman loved Hubal in return, he went into a huge rage. He transformed Hubal into a bull and hid the woman in a deep cave. Then he went to sleep for he was very tired.

'He slept for a long time and while he slept, Hubal attempted to find the woman. He sought high and low but could not find her. In desperation, he created Shiva as a replacement but she was too cold. Everywhere he stopped, he created a new friend but none could substitute for the woman he loved.

'Eventually, he found the place where Hyne had hidden the woman but she had managed to escape and the cave was empty. Then his anger and grief were terrible to see and in his rage he filled the cave with fire and lava. And Ifrit sprang forth unbidden, the embodiment of his pain.

'He went to where his father was sleeping and woke him and demanded that he return the woman to him. But Hyne had no idea where she was, either. They fought long and hard but neither would give way. One night, Hyne called a truce so that both could rest. But instead of resting, he set to work creating a prison for his son. He formed the moon from dust and stone and placed his sleeping son inside. Then he hurled the moon into the sky where it remains to this day.

'When Hubal awoke, he found that he had been tricked but there was no escape from the moon. In his rage he created more and more and more monsters until they spilled over and fell to the ground in the first Lunar Cry.

'The humans begged Hyne to help them against the monsters but he refused. And so began the war between humans and Hyne. In the end, Hyne was defeated and was forced to give the humans his powers as magic. But he tricked them and they could not use magic themselves. Some humans found the creatures that Hubal had formed and discovered that they could then use magic.

'But Hyne's final trick was yet to be revealed. He had given the humans only half of his powers. When he saw that they now had a way of using magic he fled. One day, he came across the woman that he had fought Hubal over. She was at the place where the Lunar Cry had hit the ground, still mourning for Hubal. That is why the place is called Tears Point. In his final act of revenge, he thrust his remaining powers into the woman and made her the first Sorceress.

'And so it is that, with the help of Guardian Forces, humans can use magic, and Sorceresses live among us. Hubal still rages in the moon and sometimes his rage overspills as the Lunar Cry. And the Sorceresses remember the love that the first Sorceress had for Hubal and are drawn to his home in Centra; but they also remember the hatred of Hyne for all his creatures including his own son and will always seek to destroy everything that gets in their way.'

Selphie finished reading and looked across at her friend who was staring vaguely into space, a slightly stunned look on her face. The same expression was probably on her own face, she reflected.

'Well, that was... interesting,' she said out loud.

The other woman started slightly as if she was surprised to hear someone else speak. 'Yeah, it was. I'm not sure "interesting" is the right word but I can't think of anything better.'

'It reminded me of "The Legend of Hyne" they told us in History.'

'I was never convinced that was _real_ history. It always struck me as semi-mythical. Now, I think it's _all_ mythical!'

'I don't know. Two accounts of the same events that largely agree but are told from different points of view. If we were investigating something, we'd accept them both as evidence.'

There was a thoughtful pause as they absorbed this.

'Did Zell send this to Edea as well as you? Of course he did! Well, we can see what everyone else makes of it when we speak to them, tonight.'

'They'll need all the information they can get before...'

'Before they go into the Ruins, you mean? I've been trying so hard not to think about that. Thanks for reminding me, Quis!'

Seeing the look of contrition on her friend's face, she had to laugh. 'Quis, I'm kidding! I mean, I am genuinely worried about them and I have been trying not to think about what they might face in there. But I'm not angry with you. We're going to need each other out here as much as they'll need each other in there.'

'What do you think they'll find?'

'I wish I knew. I think the new legend,' she waved the printed sheet, 'gives us more background information, but it doesn't tell us any more about what's actually happening right now. Perhaps Hubal himself is lurking in the Ruins? Who knows?'

'OK, first of all, I believe Hubal is just as much a myth as Hyne. Yes, I know what you said about evidence and I agree, to a point. But what we have here is an attempt by less educated people who lived in a superstitious age to explain the presence of GFs and their own ability to use magic. It doesn't mean it's _true_.'

'Depends on your definition of "truth".'

'OK, now you sound like some Hyne-forsaken combination of Cid and Seifer. Stop it!'

Both girls laughed.

'Well, I'll let you get on, Quis. I'll see you later when we speak to the others!'


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

_a/n 1 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8, blah, blah, blah _

_a/n 2 – I know I've been really, really slow with this update. However, now that I've finished my MA (woo hoo!), I'm planning to get moving. I have the next few chapters plotted out, which helps. I am determined to finish this story, maybe even this year._

The days had settled into a kind of routine, Selphie realised as she sat down in Quistis' office while her friend made the connection with both the group in Centra and the pair at the Lighthouse. Anxious faces looked out from the screen in front of them and she felt her own stomach tighten in response. She was almost hyper-aware of tiny details – the glint of evening sunlight on Irvine's earring, the way Squall's fringe fell into his eyes however much he raked it back, the ribbons in Iris' plaits – yet found it hard to look at anyone directly.

After their initial greetings there was an awkward pause. At last, Edea spoke, her calm voice sounding suddenly harsh as it broke into the tense silence.

'Zell, thank you for finding that document. I would not be surprised to hear that you had no sleep at all, last night.'

There was a small smile on her lips and, despite themselves they gave a brief burst of laughter in response. Everyone could imagine how restless Zell would have been during the night, knowing that he had a job to do the next day.

'The thing we need to decide, though, is how we make use of this information,' Edea continued, still smiling but her tone serious. 'Firstly, how factual do we think this is?'

Selphie grinned. 'Quis and I had this conversation, earlier. The scientist here,' she jerked a thumb at her friend, 'thinks it's all a myth. I'm inclined to give it some credence. But, basically, the jury's out.'

'Umm... can I say something, please?' asked Iris tentatively. Having received an encouraging round of nods and verbal agreements she continued, 'I was always interested in history and especially by the Legend of Hyne. I've read everything about it that I could get my hands on, no matter how weird and wonderful. And believe me, there's some weird stuff out there!

'Most writers agree that someone called Hyne really lived and that he had a relationship of some sort with the first Sorceress. But how they met, what the nature of their relationship was – that pretty much varies between one writer and the next. The biggest difficulty with Hyne being an ordinary human being, of course, is how the Sorceress became a Sorceress if he had no divine power to grant her.

'Given that difficulty, and no writer that I've read really tackles it properly let alone explains it, I've always felt that the simplest explanation is the truth. Hyne really was a god, he really quarrelled with humans and really gave half of his powers to the first Sorceress.'

There was a moment's quiet when she had finished speaking while everyone absorbed this. Iris might have her head in a book most of the time but she was intelligent and not given to flights of fancy. She had stated her case clearly and calmly, without emotion. Certainly, she was no religious fanatic. If she believed that the Legend of Hyne as they had been taught it was truthful, they should all consider it seriously.

Edea broke the silence. 'Perhaps my experience of being a Sorceress will help – at least a little. I was very young when I received my powers. My first feeling was one of horror after my encounter with the dying Sorceress who gave them to me. When I found I could use them against the people who had hurt me I was elated but that did not really last long, either. I became an exile, a wanderer. I had nowhere to call home for a long time.

'It felt as though the power _lived_ in me, as if it had a mind and a purpose of its own. That increased when I took on Ultimecia's powers as well – but it was a change of intensity not kind. The feeling of having more than one will inside me grew stronger but it did not begin with her.

'Whether or not the Legend of Hyne is true, the powers of a Sorceress come originally from somewhere else – somewhere outside her. Therefore, I do not believe that they developed naturally inside the first Sorceress. And, until we can be certain that Hyne is a myth, I think we must treat him as real. And if he is real, we must act as though Hubal is real, too.

'This new legend says that Hubal loved the first Sorceress. Rinoa is the descendent of the first Sorceress. The Centra Ruins are the remains of Hubal's dwelling. I think we must assume that he has called the first Sorceress, the woman he loved, home.'

There was another silence, this time tense rather than thoughtful. Selphie glanced at Squall but all she could see was the top of his head because his face was buried in his hands. A friendly hand lay on his shoulder; she was surprised to realise that it was Seifer's.

'So, what do we do next?' asked Irvine, speaking the thought on everyone's mind.

Cid half glanced over his shoulder at the young Commander before speaking. Whatever he read from Squall's body language seemed to be enough to confirm what he wanted to say.

'We have to carry out the original plan. Squall, Irvine and Seifer must enter the Ruins but with even more caution. We have no idea what they will meet or how they must deal with it. I would suggest waiting here for a day while Quistis speaks again with the GFs. They may have some advice...'

He was interrupted by a strangled sound from behind him. There were no words but everyone realised it was Squall giving a definite negative.

'We can't wait, Cid,' stated Seifer. 'I agree that Quis should speak to the GFs but she can send us anything she finds out. We have to get on!'

Cid nodded sadly. Selphie was suddenly struck by how old he looked. 'I thought that would be your answer,' he said, 'and it's what I would have done in your place. It doesn't make it any easier to let you go.'

'They aren't children, dear,' said Edea, laying a cool hand on his arm. She could not see the faces of the young men behind her but she seemed to have guessed their thoughts. At her words, Irvine and Seifer visibly relaxed. Squall remained with his head down but Selphie thought his shoulders looked a little less tense.

'I know! It's just…' Cid took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 'OK – the best way to spend our time is to make sure our adventurers are as prepared as they can be. There are a few points to cover; the location, general enemy encounters and tackling Hubal and/or Rinoa.

'As far as the location goes, you're all familiar with the layout of the Ruins, so that isn't something we need to worry too much about. We're on the edge of the valley here and from what we can see of the Ruins, they haven't changed. I suppose there might be the danger of the place falling apart, so you'll need to watch your step.

'The main population of monsters in the Ruins was always Tonberries. However, it looks as if most, if not all, of them have left. There were other creatures living there and we don't know if they are still there, so you'll need to make sure you're prepared for them. Without magic, only the Blobras are going to be a real problem, though.

'Which leaves only…'

'The situation we know nothing about,' interrupted Squall, looking up. His voice was tense yet somehow empty. 'We don't know where Hubal is inside – or if he's inside or if he even exists. We don't know exactly where Rin… Rinoa… is, either – but at least we know she _is_ in there… And we don't know what kind of… of state… she's in. All of this is mission critical information and we don't have it. And the only way to get it is to go in there.'

'We'll find her,' Seifer replied, giving the Commander's shoulder a squeeze. 'We'll find her and get her out of there.'

Whilst she admired his confidence, a small voice at the back of Selphie's head questioned the wisdom of his words. Looking at the pursed lips and anxious frowns on some of the faces on the two screens in front of her she felt that others shared her thoughts but were also refraining from speaking them out loud. Probably even Seifer felt less confident than his words suggested but he understood as well as any of them that pursuing this mission was not up for debate.

'Well, I think we all need some sleep,' Edea stated, quietly.

Worry was etched across her face and Selphie's heart ached for her. They might not be children in terms of their chronological age but they were still her children. None of them could begin to guess what Squall, Irvine and Seifer might find in the Ruins but it was unlikely to be anything friendly. They all knew that she was right about needing sleep but they were equally reluctant to actually say 'good night'. Who knew when they might all speak to each other again?

Again, Edea took the lead for them all. She looked each one in the eyes, turning in her seat to see the three adventurers, and said a simple, 'Sleep well'. Finally, she turned to her husband and embraced him, then stood and left her seat. One by one, the others followed her example until only Irvine, Zell and Selphie were left.

'Sleep well, dudes,' Zell said, giving a half-hearted attempt at a smile before cutting his connection.

Selphie stared into her boyfriend's eyes as if trying to pull him through the screen and into the room with her by sheer force of will.

'Selph…,' he began but was forced to stop by the welling up of his emotions. He took a couple of breaths and tried again, 'We'll be fine, really we will. All three of us together…'

'Two of you. Squall's mind is fixed on Rinoa and nothing else. And that's right – he should be thinking about her. But that only leaves two of you to think about everything else.'

'You're right – to a point. He is only thinking of Rin but in the process he'll be seeing the rest of the situation. He'll just be looking at it with a different focus from me and Seifer.'

'I hope you're right…' There was a tight knot of fear in her stomach that she could not persuade to loosen however much logic she threw at it. She desperately wanted to ask him not to go, to stay with Cid and Edea in comparative safety. But she knew she never could ask him and that he would refuse, anyway. If there were only two of them with their minds on the bigger picture, it could be disastrous if one of them were not there. She still had no real love for Seifer but she had no longer wished him dead.

Irvine gave her a small smile and blew her a kiss. 'We'll talk tomorrow, OK? You can tell me all the crazy ideas the GFs come up with!'

She caught the kiss and held her hand to her heart. 'OK – 'til tomorrow, then. Sleep well.'

'And you, babe.'

They cut the connection at the same moment.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

_a/n 1 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8, blah, blah, blah _

_a/n 2 – So, all the things I had planned to do during the summer didn't happen, for whatever reason. Oh, well, I hope you enjoy this chapter, anyway :D._

Selphie spent the next day desperately trying to keep herself busy. In the morning, she visited the new Chocobo stables that had been built just outside Balamb. The owner talked excitedly about his plans for the place, from hiring Chocobos to tourists to running a breeding programme. Selphie felt herself caught up by his enthusiasm, and almost managed to forget everything else. The riding Chocobos were so gentle and friendly and helped her to put her worries aside for a short while.

She returned to Garden at lunch time and went to the Cafeteria in the hopes of finding Quistis. There was no sign of her, though; probably she was too caught up with work. She grabbed a sandwich and a cold drink and took them out to the Quad. It was a beautiful sunny day, with just enough breeze to keep the day from being too hot. She ate slowly, concentrating on the taste of the food, trying to ignore the pit of worry in her stomach.

On the Centra continent, the three adventurers were due to call in to base camp about now. If all was well, they would be at the base of the crater, just outside the actual ruins. They would give Edea and Cid an update and then prepare to enter the tower. They had all agreed that there would be no need for Selphie and Quistis to join that conference; instead they would meet for the usual evening call. Now that it came to it, though, Selphie thought it would have been better if she had taken the call. At least she could have seen Irvine, spoken to him, known that everything was going to plan. Instead, she had to trust that no news was good news.

The hour ticked slowly past. She could not finish the sandwich and ended up throwing most of it to the birds. At last, she relaxed. There had been no call from Edea, so she must have spoken to Squall and his companions. And, more importantly, she must have been satisfied that they were all right.

Now the afternoon stretched ahead of her and she wondered how she would possibly fill it. She stood from the bench where she had been sitting, brushing the crumbs of her sandwich off her jeans. Just then she heard voices approaching and a small group of cadets appeared and walked over to the stage.

'I know it looks a bit rickety…' one of the girls was saying.

'A bit!' exclaimed another. 'A strong breeze would knock it over!'

'I don't think so,' said a third voice, the only boy in the party. 'It was pretty well put together, you know. My cousin helped to build it, the year before he became a SeeD.'

'That was the year Selphie Tilmett was chair of the Festival Committee, wasn't it?' queried a third girl.

'Yeah,' the second said, wistfully. 'There hasn't been a Festival Committee at Balamb Garden since.'

'And now you're forming one?' asked Selphie, perhaps a little too eagerly.

Shocked by the sound of her voice, the four cadets turned sharply. They had been concentrating so much on the stage and their conversation that they had paid no attention to her at all.

The first girl answered, 'We are as a matter of fact. Do you want to help out, or something?'

'Oh, no, no. Nothing like that. It's just… well, hearing you all talking like that. It brought back some happy memories, that's all.'

'Are you… SeeD Tilmett…?' asked the boy, hesitantly.

Selphie wondered if she should be flattered that he recognised her or worried that it had taken him so long. 'Yes. And I remember your cousin – Lex, right? He did a really great job on that stage. It will need some work to make it safe, of course, but the basic structure is still sound.'

The next couple of hours disappeared in a happy blur as she listened to the Festival Committee set out their plans. They were ambitious but manageable, she felt and she gave them as much encouragement as she could. When she finally left them in order to get some dinner, she was much more relaxed, and much hungrier, than when she had gone to lunch.

This time Quistis was in the Cafeteria and Xu joined them soon afterwards. They discussed the Chocobo Stables and the additional tourists they would attract, and the enthusiasm of the Festival Committee. Selphie ventured a question about the GFs but Quistis avoided giving a direct answer and she let the subject drop.

After dinner, they separated; Xu went off to mark some papers and the other two went to Quistis' office to speak to the others.

They made the connection to the base camp and to the Lighthouse, said their hellos and asked after each others' health. Then there was an awkward silence as they all waited expectantly for the party inside the ruins to make contact. Seconds stretched agonisingly into minutes.

'You did speak to them at lunchtime, didn't you?' Quistis asked, her voice stretched thin with anxiety.

'Yes, dear, of course we did. You know we'd have got in touch if there had been any problems,' answered Edea, gently.

'I know, I know you would. I'm sorry.'

'There's no need to apologise. We all know how hard this is for you.'

Cid commented, 'They weren't sure how long it would take them to get to the main floor. There are a number of factors to consider, you know. We don't know how many monsters are left in there, and they have got quite a lot of equipment to carry up all those stairs.'

'Of course, they might have run into a nest of Blobra, or needed more rests than they expected,' replied Quistis, brightening a little.

'Let's give them a bit longer, then,' suggested Edea.

They all nodded in agreement but then fell silent as they all realised there was nothing to say.

After five minutes of painful silence, Quistis stood up. 'I'm going to try Seifer's mobile,' she said.

Everyone else remained silent as she dug her 'phone out of her bag and dialled. Selphie found she was holding her breath and let it out as quietly as she could. Her friend stood with her back to her, the small 'phone pressed against her ear.

She took it away and stopped it ringing. 'Voicemail,' she said, briefly, redialling.

After the fifth try, she laid the 'phone down on her desk gently. She looked up at the screen as if surprised to see the anxious faces peering out of it. There was nothing anyone could say to her, or to each other.

Selphie took a shaky breath. 'I know it's stating the obvious but… well… something must be wrong.'

It felt like such a stupid thing to say that she could not bring herself to look at any of the others. She was surprised to feel Quistis' hand on her shoulder but had never been more grateful for her friend's touch.

'We have to go out there,' the blonde woman said. It was not a question, it was a simple statement of fact. There was nothing to think about except how quickly they could set off.

'No!'

In their shared moment of decision they had almost forgotten their friends, who had all remained silent. Now they turned towards the screen where Edea was leaning forwards, her face a picture of despair.

'You can't go, too! What if… you get lost…' her voice trailed off in an agonised sob.

'We have to, Matron. No, please…' Quistis raised a hand, cutting off whatever the older woman wanted to say. 'What if they aren't lost, they're just hurt? What if they've been captured by… whatever's in there? They need our help. Who else is going to go?'

Matron opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again. Lowering her eyes in defeat she reached out for her husband. Cid gripped her hand in response, clearly as distressed as she was.

'Is there anything…? How can we help?' asked Zell.

'I still think Iris should stay away from the ruins,' Quistis replied.

'Oh, yes,' said Edea in support. 'You two stay where you are. Knowing that there's a home for us all to return to when… when this is all over… will be a comfort to us all.'

The martial artist slammed his fist against the arm of his chair. 'But we feel so helpless!'

'We all do,' replied Selphie, quietly. 'But Matron's right. Knowing that there's somewhere warm and comforting to come back to will keep us all going. We need you and Iris to do this for us. This really is the best way that you can help us, believe me.'

Zell nodded to show that he understood. Clearly he still was not happy with the request but he was prepared to put his personal feelings aside for the sake of doing what his friends needed him to do.

'Right, then…' began Quistis but her voice trailed off. They all knew that she and Selphie had to get ready to leave but until someone said it out loud they could pretend for just a little longer that perhaps everything was really all right, that their friends in the ruins were not really lost or worse.

But they all knew it was foolish to ignore the reality of the situation.

'Let's go,' Selphie said, laying her hand on her friend's arm, offering her support as Quistis had done earlier.

'We'll see you soon,' said Edea.

'Us too!' Zell chimed in. 'And I mean in person, here at the Lighthouse, OK?'

Selphie managed a genuine smile at that. 'You bet!'


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

_a/n 1 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8, blah, blah, blah _

_a/n 2 – I now have the FF8 OST on YouTube. Hopefully, it'll inspire me while I'm writing fanfics!_

_a/n 3 – While I have some time and energy, I'm going to get the next chapter done – go me._

The two girls packed light. They were on a rescue mission – straight in and straight out. As with any mission, however, they also took account of the worst case scenario and packed emergency rations, foil blankets, first aid kits. In less than an hour, they were aboard the Mini Ragnarok and on their way to Centra.

They spoke very little on the journey. Both were wrapped in their own thoughts, although their thoughts were fixed on the same place. Selphie left the autopilot switched off just to give her something to focus on, something to distract her from imagining all the possible situations they might find in the ruins. She glanced at her friend who was hunched over her laptop, reading up on all they had learned so far, presumably for the same reason.

The night sky stretched overhead, filled with millions of brilliant points of light. And there was the moon, an object that had meant little to them as children playing on the beach but had become so significant to them as adults. Now, it seemed to follow them, watching every move they made but whether or not it approved of what it saw, there was no way of knowing.

They passed over Fisherman's Horizon, looking like a vast blue bowl floating in the black ocean. The railway line that joined the Galbadian and Estharian continents was lit up all along its length. A train rushed below them, speeding on its way from one to the other, its passengers unaware of the potential threat lurking on Centra.

Slowly, the night passed and they moved nearer and nearer to their goal. The moon set slowly, almost reluctantly leaving the sky outside the cockpit darker but somehow friendlier. And then, suddenly, it was dawn. The sun's light had never been more welcome. She was surprised to realise that Centra was already below them. The dark line that she had thought was the shape of the continent against the horizon was actually the black meadow that the Centra team had told them of.

A lone Tonberry walked backwards and forwards along its edge, stopping occasionally to stare wistfully in the direction of the ruins. They were past it almost before she realised what it was and then the ruins themselves were visible on the horizon. Now, she could see the tower growing larger by the second and it seemed no time at all that they were landing, tumbling out of the Mini Ragnarok and into Matron's welcoming arms.

As they came out of their group hug, Selphie took a breath and then almost gagged.

'Oh, yes – the flowers. They get to you at first, but we've grown used to them,' said Matron.

All around them and for as far as they could see was the meadow – graceful grasses and delicate flowers all as black as ink. But it was the smell, heavy and sickly like too much incense in a stuffy room. The girls both took small breaths through their mouths.

Cid insisted on making them sit down to a hot breakfast having somehow contrived to produce a pan of porridge in the middle of the Centra wastes. The four of them sat around the little campfire, blowing on spoonfuls of steaming oatmeal and feeling, just for a moment, as if life was normal. Selphie was surprised by just how hungry she was and scraped out the last spoonful regretfully.

'Now,' said Edea, taking charge, 'you two need to get some sleep. Yes, I know every moment counts, Quistis, but you aren't going to be any use to anyone – least of all each other – if your judgement is impaired through tiredness. Into the tent with you both. I'll wake you for lunch and then you can set off, OK?'

They both understood the wisdom of her words and knew that they would have done the same in her place. Obediently, therefore, they scrambled into the little tent Cid and Edea shared, stopping only to remove their boots. Selphie was convinced that she would be unable to sleep with so many thoughts whirling round her head and the overpowering scent of the meadow all around her but her exhausted body had other ideas. It seemed only moments later that Matron woke them but they both felt the benefit of even those few hours' sleep.

A sandwich lunch was already prepared and again the four of them sat together to eat. It was a silent meal. None of them could think of anything to say that would be in any way helpful. At last, the two young women pulled on their boots, shouldered their light packs and prepared to leave. Matron gave them each a last hug and then they headed into the crater.

Within the crater, all the vegetation was now also black. The air was still and hot and breathing was difficult. Quistis took the lead down the narrow path and they went forward as quickly as they could. Soon the sweat was pouring off them. They had two bottles of water each but they drank from them sparingly. Slowly, the afternoon wore away but the sun was still quite high when they reached the entrance to the tower.

They called in to Cid and Edea to let them know how things were going. There was a feeling of saying a final farewell and they were all reluctant to end the call. Yet there was a feeling of urgency, that every moment was precious. At last, Quistis took charge.

'We have to go,' she said, quietly. They all said goodbye in the same subdued tone and then the girls prepared to make the final stage of their journey.

_a/n – even shorter than usual, I know but I want to tackle the ruins in the next chapter. Hope you liked this!_


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

_a/n 1 – I don't own any of the characters, creatures or locations of FF8, blah, blah, blah _

_a/n 2 – I'm literally working this out one chapter at a time at the moment. Is it a bad thing for an author to admit they aren't sure what happens next?_

The entrance to the ruins looked just the same as it always had done but the girls walked through it warily. Once inside, however, they came to an abrupt halt.

Ahead of them was a staircase as they had expected but instead of looking like a bare metal fire escape, it was made of carved ebony. They looked at each other with the same expression of shock on their faces. Selphie felt a flutter of vague horror deep in her stomach. She did not want to set foot on that staircase any more than she had wanted to enter the cave that Jewel was living in. But she also knew that whatever answers there were to be found here would only be found by climbing those stairs.

She was about to voice this thought when Quistis put a gentle hand on her arm.

'None of this is real,' she said, firmly.

Selphie was puzzled. 'How… how can you be sure?'

'Because TK told me so.'

'Tonberry King told you? When? Before we left Garden?'

The other woman took a deep breath, steadying herself before she spoke again. 'He told me just now.'

'Just now? How did he manage that… mobile 'phone?' She tried to laugh at her own feeble joke but she had a growing sense that her friend was going to tell her something she really did not want to hear.

Quistis gazed off into the distance and hesitated before she spoke. 'No. Selphie, I… I have him junctioned.'

Selphie stepped back as sharply as if her friend had hit out at her. 'You've done what?'

The next answer was made in a firmer voice. 'I've junctioned TK.'

'Why? Why would you do something like that?'

'I didn't feel I had much choice.' The blonde girl spread her hands in a gesture of hopelessness.

'What about the new Garden protocols? You could lose your job!'

'I know…' Quistis dropped her head and stared at a point on the ground. 'I know it means risking my career, my home… But, Selph… what's the alternative? If I didn't do this, I knew I was risking my life, your life, and the lives of our friends.'

'Risking our lives? Those things destroyed our memories! I don't see how bringing one along now is really going to help us.'

'Well, I agree with you there. One GF isn't going to be much help in this situation. That's why I brought them all.'

Selphie was too stunned to speak for at least thirty seconds, something of a record for her. When she did recover her powers of speech, she found that she was shouting at her friend. 'Quistis, are you crazy? You have all the GFs junctioned at the same time? It's a wonder you can walk straight let alone do anything else!'

'You're right, Selph, you are. I'm finding it really hard. That's why I have to ask you to take some of them. Just… Carbuncle and Siren? Maybe Cerberus…?'

Reality seemed to be slipping away by the second. It was almost like being caught in time compression again, that feeling that nothing was quite as it seemed.

'How can you ask me to do this? You know how I feel about them. I'm just starting to recover my memories of Irvine and myself as children. I won't put that at risk.'

'It's not just about my sanity, Selph. It's about your safety.'

'You keep saying that but I still don't understand what you mean! How is having GFs lodged in my brain going to keep me safe? We haven't run into any kind of enemies, yet, and if we do we have our weapons.'

'Just stop and think for a moment. Who have we come here to find?' Quistis spoke with a quiet urgency and Selphie decided to go along with the seemingly pointless questions, at least for now.

'Well, the boys, of course!' she replied.

'And who were they looking for?'

Selphie sighed. 'This isn't going to turn into a game of twenty questions, is it? OK, I'll humour you – they came looking for Rin… Oh…' Suddenly, it dawned on her where her friend was going with this train of thought.

'Yes. They came looking for Rinoa. The Sorceress. The only one of us who can use magic without a GF. But she also has a GF.'

'Jewel,' whispered Selphie.

'Yes, Jewel. A brand new GF. One that nobody knows anything about. We don't know what his abilities are or what abilities Rinoa will have when she's junctioned him.' She still spoke quietly, but her face was grim.

'Oh, Quis, I'm sorry. I never even thought about that.'

'Plus, she was able to rip him out of Iris' mind while _she_ had him junctioned. We really have no idea what we're going to be facing.'

'You're right, Quistis, you're right. I'll take the three you suggested and Diablos. I think he'll help me to get a bit meaner. Oh, and Bahamut – wings, claws, what's not to like?' Now that she had realised what they were facing, her usual talkativeness took over and her mouth began to run away with her. She felt on the edge of hysteria and knew she had to get a grip of herself.

'OK, Selphie… now you're scaring me! Let me unjunction those five. And then I'll exchange half of my magic, too. Don't look so surprised! You know GFs are only half the story.'

Quistis closed her eyes and slowed her breathing. Then, quietly, unhurriedly, she said, 'Unjunction Carbuncle.'

There was a slight change in the air, a kind of heat haze effect, just to the left of Quistis' head as Carbuncle floated free of her. By squinting hard at the hazy patch, Selphie could see that it was a pale blue with a red dot at its centre. Without the GF crystals and without being summoned from a junctioned human, Carbuncle could not take physical form but his presence could be detected if you knew what you were looking for. Quistis repeated the process with the other four GFs giving herself a halo of faint floating lights.

Still with her eyes closed she reached out her hands. 'Let's exchange and then you can junction the GFs and magic at the same time,' she said. Selphie took her friend's hands and closed her own eyes. One by one, Quistis transferred half of each of the types of magic she was carrying.

Selphie felt the too familiar tingle of magic working its way up her arms and into her head. Like GFs, magic found space for itself in the user's mind. It suddenly occurred to her that nobody had ever explored the relationship between magic and memory loss. And what about Sorceresses? They could use magic all the time, with or without a GF. No wonder they were all at least a little mad…

The Curaga spells had found their way to a point just behind her ear. They came en masse, pushing their way in. At first she resisted but not for long. A kind of calm settled over her mind and she accepted them, almost welcomed them. She felt like an addict who finally gives in to temptation and takes a hit.

She barely noticed as the other spells slipped inside. A kind of haze had settled over her and it was only with difficulty she could bring her attention back to her companion who was trying to pull her hands away. She gave a small, apologetic smile and then prepared to junction the GFs.

This was harder because she was going to have to voluntarily open up to them, let them inside, allow them to take up space in her mind. What else might she want that space for? Her own thoughts, feelings, memories! The hysteria was threatening, again, and she took a steadying breath. There was no going back on this. For the sake of her friend's sanity, her own safety, the success of the whole mission, she had to do this.

'Junction Carbuncle,' she said.


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N 1 – I don't own anything except the story. Oh, and Hubal and Jewel._

_A/N 2 – In my usual sporadic way, I'm updating this after a gap of about 4 months. All I can say is that I've been busy…_

_A/N 3 – I'm still pretty much making this up as I go along but I have got a couple of definite scenes in my head. Let's see how they turn out!_

_A/N 4 – According to my stats, I have a reader in Russia who spent Valentine's Day reading 'Holding…' through twice :D_

**Chapter 24**

Both girls needed to rest for a few minutes when the Junctioning was complete. Quistis still had far too many GFs in her head and was clearly struggling. Selphie felt light-headed at the feeling of magic once more flowing through her, sharpening her reflexes, strengthening her muscles, smothering her in protection.

Suddenly, she felt a light tickle somewhere at the back of her head. She lifted her hand to scratch but then realised that the tickle was inside. Frowning slightly, she focused on the sensation before realisation dawned. It was one of the GFs trying to communicate.

'_Hello?'_ she thought.

'_Hello…'_ came the response, so quiet that it was hardly even a thought.

'_Who are you?'_ she asked.

'_Diablos. It's nice to be with you again.'_

'_Er… thank you. This all feels very strange, to me.'_

'_You have learned to manage without us. You have become stronger. This is good.'_

'_Good for you or for me?'_ she replied before she could stop the thought. _'I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude.'_

'_Your question is a valid one, Selphie. No need to apologise. I meant that it was, ultimately, good for you. But of course, while we are Junctioned to you, it is good for us, too._

'_By the way, Carbuncle says, "Peep-peep-peep". I think he means, "Hello".'_ There was a sensation of amusement and sound that might have been diabolical laughter.

Before she could respond further, Quistis spoke. 'Come on, then. If we don't get going soon, we'll never get there. Wherever "there" is…'

She stood up slowly, stretched and picked up her pack. With a sigh, she took hold of one of the handrails and began to climb the stairs. Selphie walked behind her, watching carefully in case she fell backwards. As they climbed, however, Quistis seemed to grow steadier and to move with more assurance.

As her concern for her friend lessened, Selphie took more notice of her surroundings. The illusion of being on a wooden staircase continued, enhanced by the appearance of walls on either side. There were black picture frames hanging on the black walls but if there were any actual pictures within them, there was too little light to see them. It struck her that there was no obvious source for what light there was.

The quiet was oppressive. By the time they reached the landing with the old fountain on it, she was almost ready to scream. Even a Blobra to fight would have been a relief.

They stepped onto the landing and took in their surroundings. The fountain appeared to be whole, carved in gleaming black stone. Black water flowed out of it, the individual drops catching the strange light and glittering like black diamonds. The only sound was the drops splashing back into the basin. Comfortable looking couches, upholstered in black velvet, were placed around it.

The staircase continued on the opposite side of the landing and corridors stretched away into darkness on either side. The floor looked solid but would it hold them if they stepped on to it? Neither suggested that they make the attempt. Instead, they sat down on the bottom step of the other flight and had a drink and a snack.

'How far do you think we'll have to go?' asked Selphie, her voice sounding shockingly loud against the background of quiet.

Her friend shrugged. 'I haven't really thought about it but my guess would be right to the top – or, at least, the room where we found Odin.'

'Doesn't he – Odin – have any ideas?'

'No. He hasn't told me any more about the origins of the Ruins or how they were built than he told us both back in Balamb. But he did say he picked the room where we found him because it looked like a throne room – which suggests that it's a good place to find Hubal.'

'Hubal? Do you think we'll encounter him? What happened to the whole thing being nothing more than a myth?'

'I don't know,' Quistis replied wearily, rubbing a hand over her face. 'I just have a feeling that Rinoa isn't working alone, here. The story we read about Hubal suggests a pretty sinister character. If he ever did exist, he strikes me as the kind who would manipulate anyone and everyone to get what he wanted.

'If he still exists, is still in love with his Sorceress… Well, he just isn't someone I'd want to meet unprepared.'

'Hence the GFs and magic…'

'Yes. I am sorry about putting you through the Junctioning, but…'

Selphie laid a hand on her friend's arm. 'There's nothing to apologise for, believe me. You're right – we need all the support we can get, here, considering the odds we're up against.'

'Odds…?'

'Well, there are two of us against three SeeD-trained warriors, a Sorceress, a GF and, possibly, a very pissed off god. Even Strange Vision and God Save the Queen probably wouldn't be enough to hold that lot off!'

The other woman chuckled a little but then turned to her with an expression that might have suggested fear. 'You mentioned the… the boys. Do you think we'll have to fight them?'

Now it was Selphie's turn to qualify what she had said. 'Well, maybe. I mean, Rinoa may have just locked them up, somewhere. But that isn't the way Sorceresses usually work, is it? They make use of anyone that comes to hand. At the very least, I'd say we should prepare to have to face Squall. He is still her Knight and would probably be the easiest for her to influence.'

'And Seifer…' Quistis broke off, her voice catching in her throat, so Selphie completed the thought.

'…has history with Rinoa _and_ Sorceresses…'

'Sounds like we should be trying to find the dungeon that Irvine is languishing in. We need all the help we can get.'

'Well, he's always been a sucker for a pretty face…'

The two girls stared into each other's faces, each reading her own desperation in her friend's expression.

'Hyne, Selphie… What are we going to do?'

'Well, first of all, we need to find this band of misfits. There isn't much we can decide on until we know what we're really facing.'

'Since when did you become the voice of reason?' asked the blonde woman with a faint smile.

'Since you decided it was a good idea to Junction every GF ever spawned!' came the cheerful reply.

They both fell silent for a few moments.

'Selphie… I'm glad you're here.'

'Me too! I mean, I'm glad _you're_ here…'

'I know what you meant, Selph. OK, let's move on.'

Both girls shouldered their packs and continued their ascent. As before, the staircase was closed in by black walls and it was impossible to see ahead. There was no sense of time passing, just the endless climbing. Selphie wondered if it was an effect of being so closed in or whether the staircase really was longer than it had been previously.

At length, however, they arrived at the second landing and hurried through the huge archway to the lift. Thankfully, the mechanism still worked, although the jolt with which it took off nearly knocked them off their feet. When they reached the top, they were relieved to see that the stairs up to the next level were also still in place.

Selphie grinned. 'Thank Hyne for that! I thought we were going to have to run around putting eyes in statues, again.'

The other girl nodded in agreement and they set off up the final winding staircase.


End file.
